Oldies, but Goodies

by Sara on January 27, 2012

Photo by GlobalP

Need a laugh?

I desperately wanted to write something funny today, but it didn’t happen. In frustration, I started cleaning computer files instead. I tend to be a pack rat and keep tons of “stuff” on my computer.

Lucky me! In my clean-up, I found something funny. I have no idea where I got this writing from, but it made me laugh again. I thought it would be fun to put it up at my site.

You may have read it as it’s been around the blogosphere, but even oldies are goodies sometimes:~)

If you’ve read it and don’t want to read it again, be sure to scroll down to: “Give credit where credit is due…” You’re in for another really funny treat:~)

DOG DIARY
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM – Wagged my tail! My favorite Thing !
5:00 PM – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. B#stards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

Give credit where credit is due…

I don’t like to put things up at my site without giving a source.

So, when I decided to put this writing up, I turned to Google. I never found the source for the “Dog Diary.” If you know what it is, pass it on to me.

I was lucky and found the source for the “Cat Diary.” In the process, I discovered someone amazingly funny.

The source of the Cat Diary comes from a cartoon, Finding the Cat’s Diary, illustrated by Dan Piraro in 1995. Dan has a blog, Bizarro Comics, which features his cartoons.

I will not regret looking for this source. Once I got to his site, I had a hard time staying in my chair because I laughed so hard. I love his cartoons and the stories behind them. He’s a very talented and funny man!

For those of you, who like cartoons, do stop by his site. You will not regret it. And if someone sends you the Dog and Cat Diary, be sure to remind the them, The Cat Diary, while embellished, does have an actual source — Dan Piraro!

Photo Source: GlobalP

 

{ 7 comments }

Doing Nothing

by Sara on January 23, 2012

photo by sara b. healy

Why do some days flow like fast running rivers, while others creep along like brackish ponds? You stare at the computer willing the words to type themselves, but the page stares back at you, maybe even sticks its paper-tongue out at you.

That’s how it was for me today. I began the morning by staring at the empty white page on my computer. No words wanted to play with me. I finally pulled out my “works in progress,” but even they looked boring.

The truth was I wanted to do nothing, but since I did nothing yesterday. I felt guilty about doing TWO days of nothing in a row! That seemed so lazy and I’m not usually a lazy person.

Also, today is Monday. Work MUST be done; it’s the first day of the week. Still, no words formed themselves into creative and exciting sentences. The cupboard seemed empty.

I got another cup of coffee, thinking maybe that would help, but no, the blank paper was still waiting for me when I came back.

I did a 360 in my office chair, which made me realize my plants needed watering. After this was done, I sat back down, but still faced the same empty page glaring at me.

In addition, after weeks of cloudy chilly weather, it was an absolutely beautiful day where I’m at. The sun was out, the birds were singing and, boy oh boy, I wanted to be sitting on my porch, like Aggie.

She was lying in her cat “tree,” looking totally relaxed. The sun was warming her fur, like I wanted it to warm my face. I found myself wishing for the zillionth time I was a cat and had nothing to do, but sit.

With a heavy sigh, I turned back to the computer. My stomach churned. I begged my fingers to find something…anything, but nothing at all was there. I reminded my computer that people counted on me. I couldn’t let them down. It just hummed back at me.

In frustration, I turned to my bookshelf for inspiration. Surely, there was something to get me moving. I thumbed through books, but still nothing! I was getting desperate.

Then, buried under a stack of books I’ve been meaning to shelve, I found a book of meditation quotes. Why not give it a try? I opened the book and picked a page at random.

I closed my eyes and ran my finger down the page, letting it find a place to stop. When I opened my eyes and read the quote, I laughed out loud.

“Don’t just do something – sit there!”  ~ Author Unknown

The Universe played a joke on me. It was a kindly one; a little poke in the ribs, reminding me sometimes it’s important to take a break and meditate on a beautiful day.

I ended up doing just that. I went to my porch and sat until the sun dropped off to sleep. It didn’t bring me great wisdom, but it did help me find something to write:~)

What about you?

I recognize some people work full time or have other responsibilities keeping them busy during the day. So, finding time to sit on a porch in the sun may not be so easy.

Still, I think the intent of this quote is important. It’s a message about how we choose to live our lives. Think about it as you consider answering one or more of these questions:

  1. What’s this quote mean to you?
  2. How long can you be totally “unplugged,” meaning no cell phone, computer, T.V., etc. — just you and the quiet?
  3. When’s the last time, other than holidays and weekends, you took a full day off of work, whatever your work might be?

 

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Story Photo: The Sea Shell

by Sara on January 19, 2012

photo by sara b. healy (click to enlarge)

Picture challenge

What would this sea shell say, if it could talk?

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Fiction Friday: The Wine Tasting

by Sara on January 13, 2012

The RWH prompt from Write on Edge: In four hundred words or less, write a fiction piece based on a definition of the word “flavor.”

I’m not sure I totally got this prompt right, but I had lots of fun writing it. Thanks to Cameron for suggesting it:~)

 

“Class, swirl your wine and sniff it.” Mattie’s voice was so serious, Harrison almost laughed.

Usually, Mattie was the one laughing, but this was the final test for her Wine Educator Certificate. He was here to give her moral support.

Harrison swirled his wine. The woman beside him followed his example, but spilled wine down her shirt.

She giggled. “Oops, my bad!”

Mattie sighed. Harrison handed the woman his handkerchief, noticing her twinkly green eyes.

“Who wants to tell us what they smell?” Mattie asked.

The woman with the stained shirt waved her hand. “I’ll try!”

Mattie looked wary, but no one else volunteered. “Okay, Lilly, what do you smell?”

Lilly sniffed. The wine went up her nose. She sneezed. Red wine flew everywhere. People ducked. Harrison laughed out loud; he couldn’t help himself.

Lilly lifted her glass. “Sorry! It went up my nose. Let me try again.” Mattie stopped her.

“That’s okay, Lilly! Let’s taste our wine now.”

After everyone had a taste, Mattie asked Harrison, “What flavors do you taste in the wine, sir?

He swirled the wine in his mouth and spit it out. “I think I taste blackberries, a hint of vanilla and maybe…chocolate?”  He made his voice uncertain.

“You’ve got a good palate!” Mattie acted like he’d won a prize. Both knew he had more than a good palate! After all, he was a Master Sommelier.

“It tastes like wine to me, but it’s good!” Lilly put her glass down with a clunk. Red wine spilled again.

Mattie glared at Lilly, but didn’t say anything.

The class progressed. Lilly spilled more wine. She laughed at her klutziness. Harrison liked her ease with herself; she wasn’t pretentious, kind of like his favorite Pinot Noir.

As Mattie enthused about the flavors of wine, all Harrison wanted was to taste the flavors of Lilly. Breathing in her smell – jasmine, citrus, with a hint of deodorant – he watched her sip her wine. Heat rose in his face thinking about tasting her full red lips.

She left early, disappointing Harrison. But when he stepped outside, she was waiting wearing a sexy grin.

He discovered she was also a Sommelier, but hired to test Mattie’s ability to handle difficult students. Mattie passed, just barely.

Later that night over a bottle of wine, Harrison leaned over, kissed Lilly and said, “Hmmm. Sweet, slightly salty with just a hint of an excellent Pinot.

{ 36 comments }

A Crack in the Sky

by Sara on January 9, 2012

photo by sara b. healy

Uh Oh!

There’s a crack in the evening sky.

The scientists cannot explain it.

It just appeared one evening.

They’ve sent probes, but none have returned.

You are a Sky Reader, the select few who know how to read the skies.

You have been called on to find out about this sky crack.

If you don’t find some answers, the leaders of the world will destroy the crack.

So, Sky Reader, do your thing.

What caused this crack in the sky?
How can it be repaired or should it be repaired?
What, if anything, is behind the crack in the sky?

The world is waiting for your answers.

 

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The Right Epitaph

by Sara on January 6, 2012

This is fiction story written for a Red Writing Hood prompt from Write on Edge. The prompt was to write a story in which an epitaph features prominently. The word limit was 500 words or less.

The subject matter of this story may make some readers uncomfortable. Constructive feedback is welcomed. Tell me what you liked and tell me how I can improve:~)

Tommy watched the graveside service standing beside an ancient oak tree. Silver-gray moss hung from its twisted branches and swayed in the warm breeze. A young preacher spoke the eulogy. His voice was so soft only a few phrases made it to Tommy’s ears.

“…a good servant of the Lord…”

“…beloved by all …”

“Give me a break!” Tommy spit the words out. He didn’t think God would be pleased about this eulogy.

The preacher finally stopped. People dropped flowers on the casket and spoke to the sobbing wife. Eventually, old Herman and his grandson stepped forward, checked the straps and the machine lowered the shiny new casket into the grave. After a few minutes, two pallbearers in their black suits stuck shovels into the nearby pile of dirt, symbolically tossing chunks of it down.

Preacher Beau’s wife screamed as the wet dark dirt fell on the casket. Her scream woke Tommy’s memories. In his mind, he smelled the musty bed in the church basement and saw Preacher Beau coming towards him, his flabby skin pale against the clumps of black body hair.

He remembered screaming into the pillow as Preacher Beau held his head down. When he was done, he threatened Tommy. Said no one would believe him. Said he’d tell people Tommy stole from the church. Said Tommy would be sent away from his parents. Tommy kept quiet. He never told anyone about the basement visits.

His mom called him with the news of Preacher Beau’s death. She begged him to come home for the funeral, but he made excuses. He came anyway, but stayed hidden. He needed to see the bastard laid to rest for himself, but he wouldn’t honor him. No, he had other plans.

After the cemetery cleared out, Tommy waited until Herman finished covering the grave with the backhoe. A light rain dampened his unshaven face and his tennis shoes squeaked as he left his hiding place, walking towards the grave.

When he reached the rounded pile of dirt, he saw the headstone. Below the facts about the preacher’s birth and death was the epitaph, “A godly man who served the Lord all his days.” Tommy laughed out loud at this fiction chiseled into the headstone.

He’d fix that epitaph. He unzipped his backpack and pulled out the waterproof cloth with its words printed in permanent ink. He climbed up on the mound, placed the cloth over the headstone, stepped back and read aloud what he’d written.

“Here lies the lying Preacher Beau
Swore he served his people well
But for the sins they didn’t know
God made sure he went to hell.”

The next morning, Herman and his grandson son saw the covered headstone.

Herman gasped in shock. “We need to take that down right away. Help me, son”

The grandson grabbed his granddaddy’s arthritic hand with his own strong one. With tears in his eyes, he said, “Leave it, Granddaddy. That’s the right epitaph for Preacher Beau.”

*     *     *     *     *

Every society, animal and human, in order to survive must make the health and safety of its young a top priority. Continued failure to do this will put the society at risk.

No one is comfortable with the idea that children are raped or experience sexual abuse. Yet, the National Center for Victims of Crimes estimates that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will have experienced an episode of sexual abuse while younger than 18 years. 

The numbers of boys affected may be falsely low because of reporting techniques (Botash, Ann, MD, Pediatric Annual, May, 1997).

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Happy New Year: Sharing

by Sara on January 2, 2012

photo by sara b. healy

Sharing

You can’t miss seeing me.
You with the bucket full of fish.
I stand; belly hungry.
Just one would fill my empty dish.

They come easy to you.
You get them with barely a fight.
I stand; eyes locked on blue.
Hoping one soon comes into sight.

You sit in your small chair.
You catch many with just a pull.
I stand; mouth begs. Please share!
Thank you, now my belly is full.

photo by sara b. healy

How do you plan to share in 2012?

Pick one, two, or all of these questions to answer in the comment box. Please let me know the question(s) you picked.

  1. In this New Year, what do you want to share with others?
  2. How do feel when you share with someone or someone shares with you?
  3. Why do you think sharing is so important?

Note to my readers…

In case you’ve wondered where I’ve been. We took a short vacation. I bet you can’t guess where!

It was so nice to come back and find so many wonderful comments in my box. I’ll be out visiting very soon. I’m looking forward to catching up with what you’ve been writing while I’ve been away:~)

{ 35 comments }

Holiday Blues

by Sara on December 22, 2011

photo by sara b. healy

You are not accidental. Existence needs you. Without you something will be missing in existence and nobody can replace it. That’s what gives you dignity, that the whole existence will miss you. The stars and sun and moon, the trees and birds and earth – everything in the universe will feel a small place is vacant which cannot be filled by anybody except you. OSHO

This is one of my favorite quotes. I put it up today because, for some, the holidays will not be joyful and happy. I don’t mean to be a spoil sport, but the reality is this holiday season…

Some of us will feel lost.
Some of us will be alone.
Some of us will feel sad.
Some of us will be forgotten.

Take a few minutes to read this message again.

“You are not accidental. Existence needs you. Without you something will be missing in existence and nobody can replace it.” ~ OSHO

Absorb these words into your heart.
Remember them.
Repeat them.
And don’t forget to…

Share them.

In the hectic days of the holidays, take time to notice people around you. When you come across someone who’s not in the “holiday spirit” or who seems kind of sad, overworked, or just lonely, give them the gift of these words. Remind them of how essential they are to you, to the world, and to the Universe.

Let these powerful words light a warming fire in someone’s soul this holiday season:~)

2011 Thank You

Thank you to all of you who visited A Sharing Connection this year. Whether you left a comment or stopped by briefly, you are very much appreciated!

Also, I want to thank the people whose words of wisdom helped me this year. Through your comments and your posts, I have gained so much from what you’ve shared with me.

The blogosphere is such a unique space. It allows us the freedom to test our creativity, to express our points of view, and to share our commonalities. I look forward to continuing to share this space with you in 2012.

I wish you all a very happy NEW YEAR.

{ 13 comments }

Holiday Memories

by Sara on December 19, 2011

YouTube Preview Image

Video by PDG Productions, 2010
Song by Pink Martini

One of my fondest holiday memories occurred Christmas of 1989. We were all excited as snow had been predicted all day. Where I live, this is a very unusual event. We all hoped for a “white Christmas.”

By the time, we arrived at the evening holiday church service; the “predicted” snow still had not showed up. While disappointed, we still enjoyed the service.

We sang holiday songs as candles twinkled all around the room. We said special prayers for those in need and gave what we could when the collection plate was circulated.

Finally, the last song was sung and it was time to leave. We collected our coats and in a large group headed for the doors. When they opened wide, so did our eyes.

In the church lights, pristine white snow sparkled everywhere – on top of trees, bushes, roofs, sidewalks and the ground. It was like we were stepping into a snow globe.

We all stopped and stared, even the kids! However, it wasn’t long before they were running and jumping into the snow. Holiday “dress-up” clothes were forgotten as snowballs flew through the air and children made snow angels.

No one wanted to leave. For those of us who don’t see snow often, it was a beautiful and magical moment and became a fond memory:~)

What about you?

Even if you celebrate a holiday different than Christmas, what is one of your fondest memories of a holiday? Briefly describe it in the comment box.

 

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Photo Quote: Persistence

by Sara on December 5, 2011

photo by sara b. healy

“It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.” ~ Albert Einstein

 

 

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