Learning Happiness

I found a book, 14,000 things to be happy about while cleaning my bookshelf the other day. It looked brand new, but the date inside was from years ago. This book sat beside my collection of self-help books, which in contrast were dog-eared, highlighted and clearly used. Holding the happiness book, I wondered why I hadn’t used it. I think it’s because I always believed that happiness was something fleeting and incapable of improving my life. But time has changed my attitude.

Through my coaching studies, I’ve discovered that being happy, contented, and positive are skills, which can be learned with practice and determination. So, I made the decision to start my own journey to learn happiness. Here are some things I’ve been learning and the simple activities helping to teach me more about happiness:

Recognize the hidden happy moments in a day.

When something wonderful happens, I know I’m happy. It’s the common, everyday moments of happiness that elude me. To change this, I decided to become consciously aware of when I am happy during the day. Using a notebook, I’ve started to keep track of any happy moments I notice.

An example occurred when I was very late for an appointment and frustrated at getting every red light. At one stop, a little boy in the school bus next me was making silly faces at the people waiting. Watching him made me feel happy and I wrote down. This moment has led to many others. Now, I look forward to finding happy moments in my day. I am becoming more aware of the hidden times I feel happy.

Make a conscious shift from negative to positive thinking.

For ages, I’ve talked about my day by reciting every thing that went wrong. I wanted to change this. I decided to create a better balance, meaning I would also include positive things that happened in my day. For example, if I said my presentation at a meeting was a flop, I’d add a positive comment such as my boss complimented me about the report I turned in.

This has helped me avoid emphasizing what went wrong, while bringing attention to what went right during my day. I still practice this. Sometimes, it’s not easy to do, especially when I’ve had a really bad day and I just want to complain. But, I have noticed as I consciously work to shift from the negative to the positive more often, I do feel happier about my days.

Practice, practice and practice some more!

Learning any new skill requires practice. I look for new ways to keep happiness a constant force in my life. Of course, there are still times I feel angry or sad and that’s okay. But now, I also pay attention to when I feel happy.

Happiness is a skill anyone can learn. It’s a lot like meditation. When you first start, you have a hard time quieting your mind and relaxing. However, by doing it regularly, you begin to forget about the things that bother you. It becomes natural and just a part of your daily ritual. Practicing happiness is the same thing. You have to work at it every day by noticing when you’re happy and challenging yourself to be more positive in your thinking.

As for me, I’m using my book, 14,000 things to be happy about as part of my on-going practice. I’m confident that it will soon look just as dog-eared, marked up and used as my old self-help books. It’s just another step in my journey to learn happiness. How about you? Are you ready to learn happiness?

Tagged as: feeling happy, happiness, learning happiness, positive thinking