Constructive Anger

Belladonna is a plant used to reverse the effects of poisoning caused by chemical warfare, to dilate the pupil in eye examinations, and even to treat colicky babies. Belladonna would seem to be a very wonderful plant, except for the fact that it can kill you. In truth it’s one of the most toxic plants found in the Western hemisphere. Eating just a few berries can poison a child and a single leaf can kill an adult.

Anger is an emotion we’re taught to avoid. It’s one of the bad guys and is included in the seven deadliest sins. Anger is known to cause people to kill, wage wars and commit other horrendous acts of violence and terror. While this may be true, I believe anger, like belladonna, can be useful, even constructive. Both, however, need to be used in the right amount. Too much anger is just as poisonous as too much belladonna, but managed correctly, anger can help us.

Anger produces large amounts of adrenaline, a body hormone responsible for the ‘fight or flight’ reaction when danger threatens us. I once read a story about a man who was lost in the mountains. Totally exhausted and unable to keep moving, he was stuck on a ledge unable to make himself move. Then he got furious at himself and the situation he was in.

Was his anger bad? No, to the contrary, it gave him the adrenaline and determination to get moving again and then kept him going until he found his way to safety.

In my own experience, I know that anger can incite a person to take positive action. While considering returning to school to seek my master’s degree in social work, I saw a counselor. He reviewed my educational history and pronounced that it was unlikely I would succeed in a master’s program. At first I believed him, but then I got angry!

Was my anger bad? No, it helped push me forward into action. I applied to the MSW program and was accepted. I had to work hard, but I did receive my MSW.

Anger can teach us how to stand up for ourselves and say NO when we need to. Remember the line that Peter Finch made famous in the movie Network: “I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!” I knew a woman who used this line to escape from an emotionally abusive relationship. She repeated the line over and over again until she was angry enough to do something about the abuse.

Was her anger bad? No, her anger helped her stop being the victim. While it wasn’t easy, she sought help and left her abusive husband.

So, when people tell me that anger is toxic, I tell them that anger, like belladonna, can accomplish amazing things. I’ve learned not to be afraid of my own anger. I know if I use it correctly, it can help me make positive changes in my life.

Tagged as: anger, anger management, positive action, postive changes, taking action, victim