Managing Worry

I admit it. I am a worrier and it drives me batty at times. I see my worry as an annoying little monster appropriately named, the Worry Monster. In the past, I bought countless books, CDs, and attended seminars in an effort to eliminate this devilish little thing from my life, but he still likes to return now and then. It finally hit me one day. Instead of trying to get rid of him, I needed to negotiate a compromise. I would agree to live with him, but he could NOT run my life!

Learning to live with my Worry Monster was a conscious decision. I was tired of fighting with him and trying to prove him wrong. You see Worry monsters are very sneaky. There’s always a kernel of truth to what they tell you. Think about it. Worry is about the possibility of something bad happening. Well, guess what? Something bad CAN happen and sometimes does! This is the power of Worry Monsters; the possibility that they just might be right.

In dealing with my Worry Monster, I’ve found the most effective strategy is to do things that keep me in control of him. If you also struggle with a persistent Worry Monster, here are some ideas for you to consider:

Stop trying to kill your worry monster! I know it’s so tempting. But like any monster, when you try to kill him, he’ll just fight back. Worry Monsters aren’t good for you, but you ended up with yours for a reason and it’s important to figure out what he’s trying to tell you. When you find yourself worrying, sit quietly and really listen for the messages behind your worry. Is it that you might fail, not live up to someone’s expectations, or that you might not be able to cope with something? Whatever the message is, it’s important to hear and acknowledge it. Once you do this, you’re on your way to quieting your Worry Monster’s annoying chatter.

Come up with strategies to counter your worries. Worry Monsters hate it when you take control. It’s like the alpha dog stuff. With your Worry Monster, you better become the alpha dog and let him know it or he will try to run your life. He’ll work hard at telling you all the things that could go wrong. But you can stop him in his tracks if you develop strategies for handling what might go wrong. Write these strategies down and keep them. When your Worry Monster starts grumbling at you, just wave the strategies in his face, reminding him who’s in control!

Use humor. Worry Monsters hate it when they hear your laughing. It just saps all their power. It’s very hard to worry, when things are funny. When a Worry Monster is sitting at your house, I highly recommend finding ways to laugh. When you’re laughing, they just go crazy and they can’t talk. Also, because they take themselves very seriously, the best thing to do is make fun of your Worry Monster. Find ways to laugh in his face. This tactic usually annoys them so much they go and hide.

Talk to a friend about what’s worrying you. It may help you get a different perspective. There is a caveat here: Be sure you pick someone who has control over their own Worry Monster. The last thing you need to hear from your friend is, “Oh, that’s terrible! I’d be worried too! Find someone who can listen while offering support. Remember, Worry Monsters thrive on your fears; they need to keep you anxious. Good friends can help with your anxiety by getting you to look at your worries in a different way. In addition, they remind you that you aren’t alone. If something bad does happens, you’ve got someone to help you.

EXERCISE! Worry Monsters prefer slouching on top of your shoulders rather than any other kind of activity. Therefore, if you take a long walk with the dog, run on your treadmill, or just do jumping jacks for ten minutes, your Worry Monsters will find someplace else to hang out. It makes sense. Worry is a mental exercise. When you put your focus on doing something physical, it’s hard to worry.

Coexisting with a Worry Monster is not easy, but it is possible. Please use any and all of the ideas I’ve suggested above to help you control your own Worry Monster or add your own suggestions about how you cope with your own Worry Monster by leaving me a comment.