The Value of Being Selfish

I don’t like to fly. Well, actually I don’t like take-off and landings. If we just stayed in the air, I’d probably be fine. Because I get
nervous, I listen to the preflight safety speech. One of the things that always bugged me in the safety information was the part about “put your oxygen mask on before assisting a child or others.”

As a parent, I struggled with this warning. It seemed selfish to make sure I could breathe safely before my child could. Then I learned that once the integrity of the airplane’s cabin is damaged, you only have about 15 seconds to get your oxygen mask on before you become unconscious. You can’t help your child or anyone else if you lose consciousness. So being selfish can make good sense.

Women especially need to be selfish. I once worked with a talented woman who loved her art, but never had time for it because she was always helping someone in her family. She grieved this loss very much. When asked why she didn’t give her art more time, she sadly told me that it would selfish to do so. After all, it was just art and therefore not as important as taking care of her family.

She’s not alone. Too often women believe their own happiness and satisfaction must be put aside while they care for others. Research shows this might be a big mistake. Today, more and more studies provide evidence that good health and longevity is increased when we feel satisfied and happy. Therefore, paying attention to the things that fulfill us is a good way to ensure we’re around to take care of the people important to us. So, what can you do to ensure that you get to be a bit “selfish” every now and then? Here are few ideas:

• Make an appointment with yourself to do whatever makes you feel good, whether it’s playing a sport, reading a book, or painting a picture. And KEEP this appointment.

• Teach yourself when and how to say NO. Some things can wait. Prioritize what must be done and what can be put on hold, even if for a few hours.

• Set up a babysitting club. This is an inexpensive way for parents to take care of themselves. Babysitting clubs are a group of parents who share the babysitting among them. Each family earns babysitting time from the group by babysitting for other members’ children.

• Get together with your friends on a regular basis and have fun! Your friends can be a very important support system, as well keep you accountable for doing the things you love.

• Visit the many creative websites geared to improve the wellbeing of women for more ideas. Here’s a place to go to check out women’s websites: http://www.indexoftheweb.com/Women.htm.

Remember you are important too! By doing things that make you feel good mentally and physically, you are taking care of yourself and that’s not selfish. Just like putting on the oxygen mask first, taking care of yourself allows you to take better care of others.