Surviving your perfect storm
When I was a kid I used to go deep sea fishing with my dad. We’d get up very early in the morning, prepare the boat and head out. Where we fished, it was common for storms to appear suddenly. I was seldom scared as our boat was a good size and we could quickly outrun approaching storms.
One day however, we weren’t so lucky. The storm came up on us too fast. The sky grew very dark and the sun completely disappeared. As the wind picked up, the boat was tossed about by huge, angry waves.
I was really scared, but reassured by my dad. He didn’t panic, but rather kept the boat moving forward through the waves. To be honest, I wasn’t sure we’d make it through that storm. But we did.
To my great relief, we eventually left its force and fury behind with the dark clouds and returned to the sunshine and calm waters.
Recently, I had to make a big decision and it scared me. I felt overwhelmed and uncertain. Then I remembered that fishing trip and how my dad helped us through that storm. I realized my situation required the same actions. These actions are valid for anyone experiencing a difficult time. Here’s what my dad taught me about surviving storms:
Confidence calms the waves of fear
Calm down and don’t panic — When things become scary it is easy for panic to set in. And once it does, you can’t think clearly. Do whatever works to keep yourself calm. For example, talk about the situation with supportive friends and loved ones, try to stay positive, and consider all your options.
Focus on what you can do — Focus on what you CAN do about the situation. Look at your choices and remember that even in the worst situation you have a choice. Decide what steps you can take to keep yourself moving forward. Don’t forget that even the tiniest step is important. EVERY forward step you take gets you closer to sunny skies.
Trust yourself and the storm will pass — This too shall pass. Think of another time you went through a storm and survived. Remember what you did and tell yourself you can do it again. Trust your instincts. Believe that you will deal with the situation and return to calm waters and bright sunshine.
Storms will come and go during our lives and it’s wise to learn how to weather them. When we believe enough in ourselves to get through these storms, we have the strength to move beyond fear.
“There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm.” ~ Willa Sibert Cather
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What have you done to survive a storm in your life?
What do you think is most important to surviving life’s storms?
Have you learned more from your stormy or your calm times?
{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }
I have to admit that I haven’t been the best at surviving life storms. I tend to panic and over-react and generally act like a crazy person. But I think with my new found positive attitude I’ll be in a lot better shape to handle the next storm that comes along!
Positively Presents last blog post..living my happily ever after now
@ Positively Present — A positive attitude goes a long ways to help one survive a storm. I think you survive your storms better than you know. Each one gives you a lesson. As far as I can tell from what you write….you’re a very good student:~)
Sara – I think it’s important to note that when you were frightened – you looked to your father for comfort.
Your father was able to remain calm in the face of the storm because he was an experienced skipper. Even though YOU couldn’t judge the “danger factor” he could. You trusted him and your faith in him is what carried you through the storm.
I guess that’s our role as parents – to be the solid “rock” our children can lean on until they’ve survived enough “life storms” to be able to rely on THEIR ability to survive the storm without us.
It’s my personal tendency to withdraw when I perceive a life storm is brewing – and I’m working on reaching out to others to help me navigate them when they come my way.
Kathy | Virtual Impaxs last blog post..Blogs and the Art of Deception
@ Kathy — My father did help, but he also was the type of person who insisted that his kids learn their own lessons. You strike me as a person who will teach your children to trust in themselves so they will survive their storms. And yes, a part of getting through a storm is knowing when to reach out to others for help; it never hurts to have a good navigator on your side in a storm:~)
Post is wonderful and the comments just add to – thank you
I wish I could pass this on to my daughter who is graduating from college in 2 weeks but she would not read it because it is from me!
She is job hunting strangely with no results but will not ask for help because her friends aren’t (Because they are going on to Grad. School and have their summer jobs lined up or Internships and you are not…and have no job?) She has paid $700 for the school counselors to help her – no she can’t go there?
Hunger will be sneaking up soon..
Hard to let go when you can see the storm
Patricias last blog post..Blogger Dad – Blame Tara Meme
@ Patricia — Our own life storms are what strengthen us and teach us. It is so hard as a parent to let a child go through a storm…we want so much to protect them, but we can’t. Every thing I know about you says you are a very loving parent. You’ve given your daughter strength and love…she WILL find her way find her way through her storm. Be patient, trust her and yourself:~)
These are great tips, and it’s so true. I think taking a deep breath and trying to relax are the biggest helpers, it’s hard to make a good decision when panicked, but when you slow yourself down you begin to see an answer more clearly. Great post!!
~Tabitha~
freshmommyblog.com
Tabitha Blues last blog post..I’m Going To Call This Photo, "City Flowers"
@ Tabitha — Taking a deep breath and believing you can get through the storm is very important to making a good decision. Thank you very much for your comment:~)
Hi Sara,
Wonderful post! Storms – what a great way to tie together real storms with the storms we face in life. For me, calm is a big factor. When I remain calm, this helps so much. And when I don’t – when I panic – this is when things don’t go so good. Great reminder here today – thanks much Sara.
Lances last blog post..This Is Funtertainment
I’ve experienced lots of storms but the unexpected storm is the hardest to cope with. It knocks you flat on your back. In a severe storm I found it very helpful to focus on what I could do. Calm waters show me how life could be and that’s what I try to accomplish. I also remember there’s always some poor soul in a much worse situation who isn’t just giving up.
I relate well to storms as a metaphor for hard times. I live close to and have a great love and respect for the sea in all its moods. Even storms have a savage beauty that results in calm waters.
Great post – thank you.
Paisleys last blog post..Doodling My Way To Creativity
@ Paisley — So true…the unexpected storms are the hardest and focusing on what you can accomplish, even when you feel overwhelmed is a great approach. I also have a great respect for the sea (in my case it’s the Gulf of Mexico). Unfortunately, for me it’s about a two hour drive and so I envy you:~)
By the way, I like the your site and the way you write very much!
Thanks for your visit and kind words
Love Jeanne
Jeannes last blog post..
@ Jeanne — You’re so welcome:~)
Hope you’ll join in on Sunday Citar tomorrow… I’m sure you’ll have a great quote to share!!
~Tabitha~
freshmommyblog.com
Tabitha Blues last blog post..Dirty.
@ Tabitha — I missed the Sunday Citar:~( I will go visit and see all the other great quotes…what a clever idea you had!
Hello Sara,
Thanks for visiting the other day and thank you for your kind words. Your blog is beautiful. I will be back. peace
Gerris last blog post..Gratefulness Week-19 Award Edition
@ Gerri — I enjoyed my visit to your site very much. It’s so much fun to discover new people and places to visit. I, too, will be back!
As soon as I start to panic, I think about what I can do. Sometimes, it’s not much and just knowing that helps calm me down. Other times, I have to sit down and write out my options and the pros and cons of each. Sounds a bit like a school assignment, but it helps me get all the chaos out of my head and ordered in front to me.
Thanks for the post. I enjoyed it.
@ Laurie — Writing down your options and the pros and cons is a great idea for dealing with a life storm. It may not calm the waters around you, but as you said, it can calm your mind, which will help you deal with the storm. I’m glad you enjoyed the post:~)
Hi Sara. Great photo you’ve chosen for this post. Strange, but I find myself drawn to be IN that picture. Weird huh? I love storms, always have. Metaphorically speaking I haven’t given much thought to what I do to get through life’s storms. I guess I decide whether it is a storm I have to deal with, and if it is I just do what I have to do to get through it.
Davinas last blog post..Mindful Melancholy
@ Davina — Thanks about the photo. I picked it because it’s kind of hard to tell whether you’re entering the storm or coming out it. As you love storms, perhaps your secret is that you know they always end and so you’re comfortable riding them out:~)
Sara, I’m really enjoying your blog. The photos are gorgeous! My daughter was in Switzerland a year ago and just loved it and Interlaken in particular.
Your father was a wise man and obviously a great role model. Sometimes it’s so hard to remember that the storm will pass – some storms seem larger than life itself – especially the emotional ones.
Talons last blog post..Jannie Funster’s CD, "I Need A Man"
@ Talon — Thank you for your comment and for your nice words about my photos. I can’t say enough about Switzerland and I’m pleased that your daughter got to visit. It doesn’t surprise that she liked Interlaken; it’s both a beautiful and exciting city.
My father could be a wonderful teacher. He taught me to love and respect the outdoors…all aspects of it. The biggest emotional storm I ever survived was his death when I was sixteen. I treasure all his lessons about life:~)
@ Everyone who recently commented — I apologize for not getting back to you sooner. My site decided to take a brief unexpected vacation. I guess it realized I was out of town and therefore, it could go it’s merry way:~)
Thanks to Kathy Henderson Hurd, it only escaped for a short while and is now back up and very apologetic!