lovely reminder… thank you

best wishes
Ribbon
Ribbon´s last blog ..Knit one Purl one… stitches on the street

so for those people, i just listen and try not to offer suggestions or fix their problem. if they really want help, there would be no yes but.

However, if you get in a situation with a Yes But Person, these tips are always here.

@ Lori — I agree with you about what Chris said! Also, thanks for the book recommendation. I had not heard of “Excuses Begone,” but I like the title. I’ll have to check it out:~)

@Kathy — I agree with you there are times when a person just wants to a “sounding board.” You posed the perfect question to ask: Do you want solutions or do you just want me to be a sounding board? Then at least both of you know the purpose of the conversation:~)

@ Davina — Great metaphor…a dog chasing his tail! That’s interesting about people already knowing the answer…I think this can true, especially when fear is part of the scenario. Then the Yes But Person may be searching a better or easier option. Good point:~)

For example, “You’re a great worker, Sally – BUT….”

When you hear the “but” in the sentence above – your heart sinks because you instinctively know that whatever follows – it’s going to be bad!

With that in mind, when I hear “Yes, but”, I ignore the “yes” and recognize that what follows the “but” is the truth as the speaker sees it.

When I hear it – the first question I have to ask myself is – “Does this person really need a “solution” from me – or does he/she just need a sounding board?”

Sometimes – we just need to hear OURSELVES talk about a problem in order to find a solution.

Unfortunately for our listeners – it’s usually not until WE get tired of hearing ourselves that we’ll step up and make a necessary change!
Kathy | Virtual Impax´s last blog ..Perspective’s role in your marketing messages

Actually, your options are very wise and kind and helpful. And I like Chris Edgar’s description, that they “argue for their limitations.” I’ve been there, and I really like Dr. Wayne Dyer’s new book to help with this — Excuses Begone.
Lori Hoeck´s last blog ..Three ways a narcissist can take control

@ Dani — I think we all moments of being a Yes But Person. I know I do. That’s one reason I wrote this post…it takes one to know one! My boyfriend said he was going copy this post and stick in my face whenever I started a “yes, but” cycle:~)

@ Tess — THAT’S GREAT…I’ll remember that one:~)

Choosing your friends well is part wisdom and part intuition. I’m pretty confident you have a good share of both:~)