Letting Go of Impatience
Perhaps this isn’t the best thing to confess, but for a good part of my life I was a Type A personality! I tended to see life as a struggle and fought my way through it.
Needless to say, I wasn’t at peace with myself very often. As I grew older, I recognized the toll this fight was having on me and my body. I knew I had to change but wasn’t sure how.
As things worked out, change was forced on me during a crisis; one that was so overwhelming I had to do something.
I knew I couldn’t change the situation that was causing me grief, but I couldn’t continue to fight it either. I had to find a way to let go; something I didn’t do very easily.
My Go Gently Days
One evening after reaching a point of total exhaustion, I went to sleep. The next morning I woke up with the following phrase in my head; “Go gently into your day.” I have no clue where I read or heard this phrase, but it felt right for me at that time.
That day I thought of this phrase everyplace I went, consciously choosing to “go gently into my day.” I smiled at the overtired grocery clerk, opened the door for the stressed woman with two toddlers in tow, and drove calmly without once honking my horn because of some driver’s transgression.
In short, I spent my entire day “going gently.” When I got home, instead of feeling stressed and tired, I felt absolutely wonderful and energized. It was one of those WOW moments in my life!
By letting go of what frustrated me I could approach my day with gentleness. This brought love and energy to me. Who knew this could be so effective? I began to include more “go gently days” in my life.
5 Ways I Relieve Stress
How do I do this? I focus on being gentle to myself and to others. I smile, show kindness, and remind myself that the Universe takes care of things when I let it.
Here are some ways I practice a “go gently day”:
Remind myself frequently to “go gently into my day.” This reinforces what I choose to do during the day. It’s a mantra I repeat when I’m stuck in traffic, dealing with a difficult person or when I feel life pressing on me.
Show gratitude and kindness to others. I thank people who have helped me during the day and I offer help to others. I fully believe this creates positive energy throughout our bodies and souls.
Spend more time with gentle people or animals. I pet my dog and cat more often, have lunch with a person who is supportive and caring, or even visit some of my favorite peaceful bloggers:~)
Do something good for myself. Have a warm cup of tea or coffee, take a nice bath, go for a nature walk or listen to calming music; whatever makes me feel contented and peaceful.
Slow my life down. I drive slower and eat slower. I stop rushing and instead, take deep breaths and notice things around me along the way – trees, birds singing, colorful cars passing on the street – whatever helps me slow down my life.
I know it would be best if every day was a “go gently day,” but truthfully, I haven’t quite reached that level of consciousness yet. I’m still a “work in progress”:~)
Even so, when I start feeling stressed or angry I make an effort to take a “go gently day.” Most times these days make whatever stress or annoyance I’m feeling slink away, only to be replaced with happiness and contentment.
What about you?
When do you find you need to take a “go gently day?” What activities would you choose?
An Exceptional 10...
Colleen
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Talon
{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }
That phrase is beautiful, Sara. Definitely you had an epiphany!
I’ve got many activities that keep me in the present and in the moment. Life is so darned fast these days, it’s even more important to take time to enjoy our lives and not just rush through them to the next thing.
Photography, blogging, writing, gardening, exercise, reading, listening to a favorite CD, playing with my cats and dogs, taking a long walk with hubby, having tea with a good friend, spending time catching up with family, all bring me joy and serenity.
talon´s last blog ..Foundations…
A great idea! I sometimes use a phrase my therapist uses — “be gentle with yourself.” And as for spending time with gentle people, that’s something I hadn’t thought of before.
My dog Lady was always wary of new people, and there was only one time in her entire life that she wanted to stay with someone rather than be with me. It was a vet who did sonograms, a man who known for his calmness. It hurt my feelings, but I didn’t blame her. I’m not a calm person. I have found that getting my heart rate up for a while with exercise ultimately calms me.
Dot´s last blog ..Comment on Of Snow and Groundhogs and Pandas by Jannie Funstet
Hi Sara – I adore this post. Everything about it. Your gentle spirit shines through. And I would never have pegged you for a Type A at one time in your life. Feelings of gentleness and warmth always come to me when I interact with you in the virtual world. So I’m loving that you shared your story about it. It’s so real, and yes, we are all works in progress. I don’t know if any of us can ever arrive at 100% gentleness.
When I first heard your phrase I immediately thought of Dylan Thomas – “Do NOT go gentle into that good night.” A beautiful poem but full of angst-y imagery. I like the counterbalance of your “Go gently into your day.”
Is part of the go gently manifesto about humor too? I ask because that painting cracks me up. I know her pout and her knitted brows are warning me off, but I can’t help thinking she might just break into laughter at any moment.
I have a thing about taking a day to do whatever you want. I’m going to write about that sometime, so I won’t go into detail. But those would be the kind of days where I am definitely going gently.
Patty – Why Not Start Now?´s last blog ..Getting Comfortable With I DON’T KNOW
@ Talon — Good for you — it sounds to me like you’ve found the perfect recipe for “going gently into your day!” I totally agree with you about life being so fast and how important it is to enjoy it:~)
@ Dot — Regarding being gentle to yourself…it’s the same concept. I really believe when you are gentle to yourself; you are gentle to others.
Regarding spending time with calm and gentle people, I’ve really found that this helps calm me down. It’s the same thing as with your dog. We react to energy around us. Also, don’t feel badly about the dog. My dog who’s been with me for years totally ignores when the minute my boyfriend, JC, walks in the house:~)
@ Patty — If you talked to my family…you’d know the Type A me was definitely real. But that’s what’s so great people; we can change:~)
Regarding humor, that’s a great one to add to the “go gently into your day” list. I’m actually pleased that my little painting me you laugh — that was the intent. Humor has always rescued me from my frustration and annoyance periods. Lucky for me, I laugh very easily…even when I’m really angry. It’s true that you can’t be laughing and angry at the same time~
You should write about taking a day to whatever you want. I love doing that. Of course, this means I usually sit in my favorite chair and read. I love to read:~)
Oh, I would definitely love to have a go gently day with a massage included.
BTW, my husband and I are working on getting pregnant.
Gerri´s last blog ..The Happy List
Go gently, oh boy I can recall myself getting uptight behind a slow person in the supermarket.
However as I have cut more and more structures in my life, I do notice I have become more gentle.
Now I use my breathing as an indicator because somehow I still have the habit of doing chores fast. Years of habit I guess.
So on a regular basis I check my breathing during those chores and I still find myself holding my breath when frantically working on the task at hand as if I have a boss breathing down my neck.
it cracks me up sometimes to watch myself, but it shows how accustomed we are to living in the fast lane.
I love your self portrait and isn’t it a compliment that Patty never knew your secret.
xox Wilma
Wilma Ham´s last blog ..Ann-Marie on ‘I don’t know’ so I say STOP
Sara, I love this. It kind of reminds me of the first two lines of Max Ehrmann’s beautiful Desiderata:
“Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.”
Except really what we’re trying to do is find or bring peace wherever we go. I tend to find it in the smiles of others, which can be a pleasantly disarming thing. I find that my barriers come down immediately when someone smiles.
Certainly, we could all learn to smile more.
Tony Single´s last blog ..The Nouns of Multitude
What a beautiful post! I could feel myself actually picturing myself going through my day much slower and calmer. I am generally a pretty laid-back, but I can always improve!
Activities in my go gently day would actually probably include a computer break. A nice walk with the dogs while swinging my wonderful new 3-lb hand weights. A bath, for sure! Maybe even a nap, if I could. Usually I cannot sleep during the day. And some letters-writing, the snail mail kind.
I love hearing the inspiring story of how you worked mindfully to change. That takes a lot of focus and inner work. Bravo! Did you find your were more type-A during your years when your kids were small? Just wondering if some of the stress was due to parenting demands.
Jannie Funster´s last blog ..Gratitude
Hi Sara,
I like that, “go gently into your day”. For me, I find if I make the time to write in my gratitude journal as I’m sipping my morning coffee, the day just seems to fall into place and I calmly address any adversity that arises.
At night I also try to unwind so I can rest easy and sleep well.
P.S. You’ve mastered that type A personality perfectly.
Barbara Swafford´s last blog ..One, Or A Million
Hi Sara! Lovely post and that phase “go gently into your day” is so similar to the “walk softly on this earth” phrase that I used to calm MYSELF down! And wow, they both work fantastically!!! We have the same history – boy I did the little warrior dance, impatient, workaholic, perfectionist – oh how utterly exhausting, you’re so right about that! Turned in my Type A membership card and have been joyous beyond belief ever since! Welcome to the “other” side!
Hugs
suzen
Hi Sara .. lovely picture!! More importantly I think the phrase is brilliant and such a leading one .. as we say it to ourselves – as you say it just makes sense – go gently, go softly, go quietly, be aware of others. I’m pretty good these days – though sometimes things just happen – I try and avoid them or ignore them .. I’m not sure what I say, or why I’m less A personality than I used to be .. but I have definitely slowed down and can only do what I do. I need to do more .. so thank you for the 5 pointers – we need prods along the way sometimes ..
Enjoy your relaxing weekend .. quietly as she goes .. Hilary
Hilary´s last blog ..Groundhog Day, Candlemas and Jannie the First …
@ Gerri — Regarding the “go gently” day….so what’s stopping you?
I think that’s fantastic news about you working on getting pregnant and I wish you guys success. I sense that you are an excellent parent — a child will be lucky to grow up in your presence:~)
@Wilma — What an excellent point you make about the breathing!! I noticed that also — when under stress or when I rushing, I tend to hold my breath. I also notice how wonderful it feels when I stop doing this and take a nice big cleansing breath.
Thanks about the illustration. While it’s not great art, I have fun with my washable crayola markers — it lets the child in me come out and play:~)
@ Tony — I like that quote very much, especially the line “and remember what peace there may be in silence.”
I also agree with you about smiles. My barriers also come down when someone smiles, especially children…they have such sweetness in their smiles that I resist smiling right back at them. We should hold a contest that encourages people to just smile whenever and wherever they can for a day…then they could write about the results of doing this. I imagine they would have fun seeing reactions from others:~)
@ Jannie — I can see you being pretty laid back…certainly I DO NOT see you as Type A personality:~) Regarding my Type A stuff, I did have it when my kids were young and some of it might be related to parenting stress. At the time, I worked full time and my job was demanding. Fortunately, their dad was much calmer and easy going:~)
You’ve mentioned the letter writing before haven’t you? Have you ever considered writing letters regularly to someone? I once read on a blog how this woman was regularly writing letters to her god child who lived far away. The author talked about how rewarding this type of writing was for her.
I also can’t sleep in the daytime, unless I’m sick.
@ Barbara — Gratitude journals are a wonderful way to go gently into your day. I love that you’re writing in yours to start your day. I’ll have try that…I used to keep one and recently found it again, but I always wrote at night and sometimes fell asleep before I expressed my gratitude. Doing in the morning sounds much more effective:~)
Thanks regarding the p.s….As I said, I am a work in progress, but I am getting much better at go gently into my day:~)
@ SuZen — I like that phrase “walk softly on this earth.” It’s sound Native American to me. It’s nice to know that there’s another fellow member of the “reformed Type A” club — I am truly enjoying being on the “other” side:~)
@ Hilary — You are too kind about the picture…REALLY:~) Back at you about the weekend….may you “go gently, go softly, go quietly, and be aware of others…throughout your weekend:~)
Sara, this post really resonated with me because I still have flashes of a Type A personality. I’ve made a conscious effort to leave behind my Type A leanings because I’ve decided it’s contradictory to what life is all about. And I love all the tips you listed here. I don’t always remember to follow them but luckily, I have a husband who doesn’t tire of reminding me to chill.
@ Belinda — Good for you about working at leaving the Type A stuff behind. I agree it helps when you’ve got somebody to remind you when you have a Type A attack. I also have someone who reminds me to “chill.” He does it mostly by making me LAUGH. It works every time:~)
Hello Sara, yes yes yes, I had this same experience, perhaps not overnight, but I too, was a Type A and now, well, I guess life forced me to stop. I agree that some days the old me pushes through and I resist and resist and feel horrible afterward; I am aware of my resisting which I see as a positive step forward.
Thanks for sharing your “ways”…
Victoria
Thanks Sara for visiting. Actually the surprise goes along with a birthday week idea that I came up with for Devin. He is having lots of fun.
He will get a separate Vday gift.
Gerri´s last blog ..Count Down Day-5
Maybe the phrase means that, to paraphrase Dylan Thomas, although we shouldn’t go gently unto that goodnight, it’s okay to go gently unto a weekday. Thanks for sharing this!
Great advice! For me, (a huge type A) the key to balance and joy was learning what things I needed to control and to let go of the other 80%. Once I learned to just breathe and stop being responsible for everything, life became much happier.
@ Victoria — You said what I think is the key thing about changing Type A tendencies — being aware and conscious of when they descend upon us:~)
Thanks for the visit!
@ Gerri — AH…so the b-day boy was a valentine gift. I guess it’s better than having birthday during the Christmas holidays:~)
@ Chris — I do hope Dylan Thomas will forgive me for the modification of his quote and that he’d agree with you that it’s okay to “go gently into a good day” :~)
@ Meg — You are so RIGHT about breathing! That’s one of the things I have to remind myself to do when I start feeling stressed. I also agree about control. I have the Serenity Prayer near my computer station and when things aren’t coming together as I think they should, I read it aloud to remind myself.
Thanks for visiting and sharing your thoughts:~)