Day of Love
This Sunday is Valentine’s Day, the “day of love.” For some, a much anticipated day of flowers, candy and pretty cards; for others it’s a day to stay in bed and pull the covers over their head.
A couple of years ago, I wrote a post about Valentine’s Day and how difficult this holiday can be if you are single; it is after all, a holiday marketed for couples.
For singles, this holiday doesn’t just ignore you, it slams your face into the importance of “coupledom”; that belief that we all must be WITH someone or we’re NOT someone.
Anti Protest
Well, there are some who are fighting back. There’s an anti-protest against Valentine’s Day, appropriately called ANTI-VALENTINE’S DAY. This movement is gaining momentum – even the card making industry is getting into it, which is kind of scary since they helped start Valentine’s Day:~)
I found it interesting and fun to check this movement out. One of my first visits was to YouTube, where I can always find a clever video about any subject. While I found lots of videos about Anti-Valentine’s Day, I had to screen my selection to keep the PG rating on my site:~)
A Funny Site
I also found an interesting anti-Valentine’s Day promotion on a funny site that’s a favorite of mine called, Despair.com. The site calls itself “Creators of Demotivation” and it’s known for giving motivational sayings, uplifting messages and even holidays a slightly skewed, but funny twist.
They have an Anti-Valentine’s day offering called Bittersweets. You should check it out, but don’t take it too seriously:~) Here’s a quote from their promotion:
“For most, there is no crueler day of the calendar year than that of Valentine’s Day. While a tiny fraction of the population can look forward to a holiday of wine and roses, poetry and song, the vast majority of us can anticipate a day of nausea and grimacing, trauma and grief.” ~ Despair.com
Couples Only?
Unfortunately, like most “anti” anything, the Anti-Valentine’s Day movement has a lot of frustration and anger in it. While I appreciate the humor, I’m not promoting getting angry about this day or trashing being in a relationship.
What I am saying, however, is that we’ve allowed this day to become anti-single, rather than a day about love. Love doesn’t mean you have to be a “couple” and Valentine’s Day should not be for couples only. In the post I wrote two years ago, I ended it with these words:
“It’s nice to be with someone special, but if you’re not, it doesn’t mean you don’t have loving relationships or that you can’t enjoy being by yourself. We don’t need other people to complete us; we need them to complement us.”
I still believe these words. So, this Valentine’s Day, whether you’re in a relationship or not, enjoy the “day of love.” Appreciate the good things in your life and show your love for the people you care about, including yourself. That’s the best way to say, “Happy Valentine’s Day.”
* Re: Header Illustration — I used free clip art from the Big Box of Art and Photoshop to create this illustration.
{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m married, but I still despise Valentine’s Day!
.-= Mama Zen´s last blog ..Man Marries Build-A-Bear =-.
@ Mama Zen — LOL :~)
Hi Sara
You know I don’t think we should be anti- anything as that still puts the focus and attention to that area, and wherever our focus goes, there go our thoughts, and that is the most powerful place from which to manifest. Meaning we are still fuelling the whole Valentine’s day area. This is why the card companies are smart – they still see the potential to stay in that market.
Instead, I try to promote and celebrate love everyday. It is not about one calendar day, or the gifts or having a partner. I think for the most part many of us have outgrown those things or just plain and simple see right through them.
For me it is about returning to love and kindness in every day and moment. If we have a partner we should be loving everyday. If we don’t have a partner we should still be loving to ourselves everyday.
So happy love day to you always
.-= Evita´s last blog ..Moving Beyond the Holy Day to Holiness and Wholeness Now =-.
@ Evita — I liked all the points you made and agree totally about celebrating love everyday. I especially liked how you closed your comment and I think it deserves to be said again, “For me it is about returning to love and kindness in every day and moment. If we have a partner we should be loving everyday. If we don’t have a partner we should still be loving to ourselves everyday.” This is well said:~)
I’ve never bought into the whole Valentine’s Day hype – I prefer to share my love all year long. Sad that it starts in grade school long before “couple love” should even be an issue – so it’s turned into a popularity contest. And I’ve seen a lot of people who demand stuff for Valentine’s Day and that’s really taking the romance out of the celebration.
I’m not anti-Valentine, but I’m definitely unimpressed – lol!
.-= talon´s last blog ..Misunderstood… =-.
@ talon — Going from Evita’s comment to yours has given me an idea. Perhaps Valentine’s Day can be used as the first day to kick-off a year long adventure of showing love and gratitude. Instead of the stupid cards we had to give each as kids, children would write about gratitude, love and compassion. People could make love/gratitude resolutions…like New Years. After all, I don’t think we have a day of gratitude…so why not combine love and gratitude:~)
I agree. In protest I’m not getting you anything for Valentine’s day!
@ JC — That’s okay with me…I have you:~)
Hi Sara .. I’m single, but don’t get into the Valentine’s Day scenario .. at all – love is love. I thought the YouTube video was great and laughed out loud .. fun .. thank you – Hilary
.-= Hilary´s last blog ..Rhinoceros chase – or how about a little rolling over with Hippopotami? =-.
@ Hilary — You don’t how difficult it was to find a PG video about this subject. There are a lot of angry people making protest videos about Valentine’s Day!! I’m glad you saw the humor in the post. I was hoping people would:~)
Mama Zen’s comment cracked me up! I don’t despise it but I’m turned off by it. For years now, my husband has half-joked that he’s the only man who gets in big trouble if he cooks up something for Valentine’s Day. It’s never been one of my faves. It’s so much better to feel and show love everyday and not just to a partner but to as many people as possible. I think love is the most powerful thing there is. If we choose it, its rewards are amazing. But we humans often miss the point and tend to not always know what to do about it, though.
@ Belinda — I agree with everything you said. It is too bad that we don’t show our love for ourselves and people around us every day. I would prefer instead of Valentine’s Day that we had a day of being grateful…or maybe even a year of this:~)
One reason I wrote this post is because I know quite a few single people. Valentine’s Day and New Year’s Eve are two of the most difficult days when you are single. Everything is marketed towards being in a couple. I don’t think that’s right. It’s not the “day of the couple;” it’s the “day of love” :~)
Hi Sara – I had no idea there was an anti-valentines day movement! I don’t like the commercialization of any holiday, this one included. What I do like is the idea of love, but in its broadest sense. We tend to view love mostly through the lens of relationship. And yet, there is so much to love: ideas, places, people, ourselves, nature, beauty, animals, art. Ooops, I think I could go on and on so I will stop! Anyway, that’s what I’m choosing to celebrate this valentine’s day.
.-= Patty – Why Not Start Now?´s last blog ..What the Super Bowl Taught Me About Life =-.
@ Patty — Good for you…celebrate Valentine’s Day your way:~) Also, I never mind it when you share how you feel in the comment box…I say go for it. I loved what you said: “We tend to view love mostly through the lens of relationship. And yet, there is so much to love: ideas, places, people, ourselves, nature, beauty, animals, art.” So true:~)
I give my partner, 2 daughters and mother a Valentines day card. I just think it s a great day to tell my family I love them.
@ LL Cool Joe — That’s the right attitude — share the love:~)
This will sound pretty mental, but are you the Sara who leaves the nice comments at my Word Garden? I think I am finally in the right place.
I love the cutie birdies in the tree, though one of them is a little much with the beak!
.-= Fireblossom32´s last blog ..Rick =-.
@ Fireblossom32 — I do visit your site quite a bit. I love your poetry!!! Your poetry is like a kaleidoscope to me because it captures so many different emotions. I also love that you can be very funny and very direct! So yes, it probably is the Sara who’s been dropping by and will return:~)
That IS a pretty deadly beak the one little bird has!
Hi Sara! Cute video! I wasn’t aware of the anti movement – I pretty much ignore the whole thing. Hubs and I have been married almost 30 yrs and don’t “need” this kind of hype. We say I love you daily. As for this being couples only? It’s as ridiculous as De Beers who started the whole Diamond says I love you b.s. They made a fortune convincing the world that you MUST have a diamond ring. Same as Hallmark with IT’S marketing. I’m immune.
And
I love you, Sara!
suZen
@ SuZen — It’s so nice to hear about a couple who have been together as long as you guys and that you still say “I love you” daily:~) Like Evita said, Valentine’s Day proves that marketing/advertising can drive our beliefs, if we let it. It’s good that you are immune to this:~)
I think the Anti-Valentine’s Day movement is to remind us that this day isn’t just for couples, but rather is for everyone to express their love for people around them:~)
Hi Sara: I just received your last e-newsletter and signed up for your wonderful blog. Check out the link below (hope it works) to see what I think is a very funny V-day cartoon.
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/science_valentine.png
Take care….Ken
@ Ken — Well, I’m pleased that you came over to my blog:~) I hope you’ll enjoy it. I will check out the link…you know me, I love funny:~)
Good point. I agree that Valentine’s Day is all about the love. Even when I was single, my sister and I still exchanged Valentines and we enjoyed the day eating chocolates and such.
@ Caity — There’s nothing better than celebrating Valentine’s Day with friends, family and, of course, chocolate:~)
Hi Sara.
I’m an impossible romantic but with Valentine’s Day it’s become more of an obligation to buy something; just like Christmas. It’s more romantic when it’s a surprise.
@JC
.-= Davina´s last blog ..Take a Spiritual Bawdy Break =-.
@ Davina — You are so right about the obligation. Who wants a celebration when it’s EXPECTED that you are to get flowers or cards. It’s so much more fun, as you said, when it’s totally unexpected…a regular day and someone does something special for you. AHHHH…that’s a day of love:~)
Heh, that’s funny, although I’m “single” I’ve never really been bothered by Valentine’s Day. The obsession with “being in a relationship,” it seems to me, has led to so much misery — people trying to be in one all the time, no matter how much they dislike it, just for the sake of being able to say they are.
@ Chris — Good for you about Valentine’s Day. It sounds like you have a realistic approach to this day. I agree about the obsession for a relationship, especially when the idea of being in a “relationship” is more important than who you are with. I also think being single teaches us how to be content with ourselves.
I grew up in a very traditional southern family — marriage was expected. I lived this “expectation,” but came to realize that knowing yourself if so much more valuable…because then when you chose to be someone, you chose because the person complements you and not because they enable you to “fit” in. Thanks for sharing your thoughts:~)
I think it’s true what you say about Valentine’s Day being anti-single. It can certainly appear that way to anyone who desires to be in a relationship and isn’t. It was that way to me for years before I met Cassy. Funny thing is, now that we’re in a relationship, we never really seem to bother with it. Perhaps that’s because we try to do romantic little things for each other all the time…
I have found that there are any number of “holy days” that may be contentious for anyone for any number of valid reasons. You have Christmas which was stolen away from the pagans and totally changed. You have Easter with a similar thing happening there. You have Halloween which Christians seem to like to rail against. You have Mother’s Day which some, like my darling Cassy, find a little hard to get through emotionally speaking.
I think special days are wonderful things, but they can unfortunately (and probably unavoidably) be exlusionary by their very nature. Someone somewhere is going to feel like they’ve been missed out, and that’s a genuine shame.
.-= Tony Single´s last blog ..Brain Bouncing Fun! =-.
@ Tony — I love that you and Cassy do romantic things for each other all the time. To me, that ‘s what makes a good relationship; it’s an everyday expression of caring.
You make an excellent point about “special” days and I agree they can exclusionary. I think part of this is that we make them evolve around a person, which will, as you said, almost exclude someone. It seems that if we want to celebrate something via a day, we might think about picking something that was more universal — like a “gratitude” or a “smile” day….days in which we do something special for every one we meet.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Tony:~)
V-day is all a plot. A commercial plot, I tell ya!! plus, It makes you fat, hung-over and crazy the next day. I skipped it!
xo
.-= Jannie Funster´s last blog ..5 More BIG Photos — Whoo-hoo. (and a poll, in case you’d missed it in the sidebar.) =-.
@ Jannie — Good for you for skipping Valentine’s Day. What’s really funny is that the Anti-Valentine’s Day movement is becoming just as commercial:~) Advertisers will get us one way or the other.