First Love

Firsts

Do you remember your first love? Mine was a gentle boy, very kind and caring. I got to know him in college and instinctively knew that there was something special between us. With him, I quickly learned the difference between the fickleness of a child’s crush and the promise of a woman’s love.

I remember this boy with nostalgia. I wrote tons of sappy poems to him and he told me he loved every one of them! Mind you, I also kept them and today, I’m very impressed that he found the courage to tell me how wonderful he thought they were:~)

I don’t regret this first love; I cherish it. It’s like other big “firsts” in my life that I remember fondly — the first time I rode my bike solo, my first day of school, my first date, and the list goes on. Some of my “firsts” haunt me, some make me laugh and some make me sigh, like my first love.

The One

Our relationship didn’t last long. Neither of us was ready for the commitment of love. We drifted apart. Eventually, he left school and got married. I haven’t seen him since. But when certain songs come on the radio; those songs about first loves, he’s the one I think about.

I don’t believe you ever completely get over the person who could have been “the one,” but wasn’t.

Of course, I have loved many times since this boy; loves that were more mature, enduring and lasting, but they were not the first and there’s something special about that first love. Don’t you think?

What about you?

If you choose to answer any of the following questions, remember that this site is rated PG :~)

What do you remember about your first love? How old were you? How long did it last?

What drew you to this person?

How did the relationship develop — was it like a quick fire or a slow burning ember that developed into a fire?

What immediately comes to mind when you think of your “first love” relationship — the beginning, the middle or the ending? Care to elaborate?

Is there a specific song that brings this “first love” to your mind?

What’s the question you’re dying to answer that I didn’t ask? Put it and your answer in the comment box.

34 comments on “First Love

  1. Lynn says:

    I married my teenage sweetheart, who was my first love. I had known him all my life – our sisters were good friends. He was two years older than me (a bigger gap in those days when he was 18 and I was 16.) It just progressed from fun dating to something that deepened later. I thought I was oh so cool to be dating a college boy and as a junior in high school it was so fabulous to get to go to Georgia Tech events – dances, football games, etc. The marriage didn’t last, but that is another story. 🙂 It’s all good – he’s happy, I’m happy. Life is good.
    Lynn´s last blog post ..Apple pie- jewel tones and like

    • Sara says:

      @ Lynn — I think that’s special when the first love does end up in marriage. I had a friend who did the same thing and yes, we did think she was really cool dating a college man:~)

      I’m pleased that “life is good” for you:~)

  2. desk49 says:

    1. What do you remember about your first love? How old were you? How long did it last? Her name was Vicky Leach she had dark hair, my height, slim and we went from the 3rd grade to the 7th.
    2. What drew you to this person? She would talk to me, thought I was fun did not judge me for my mother and father.
    3. How did the relationship develop — was it like a quick fire or a slow burning ember that developed into a fire? Slow
    4. What immediately comes to mind when you think of your “first love” relationship — the beginning, the middle or the ending? Care to elaborate? Her kisses, her touch, her smile, and she never left me for another as long as we were together.
    5. Is there a specific song that brings this “first love” to your mind? No
    6. What’s the question you’re dying to answer that I didn’t ask? Put it and your answer in the comment box. I’d love to find her and tell her how I felt all these years.
    desk49´s last blog post ..Innocence-

    • Sara says:

      @ Ellis — I assume you’ve looked for her via online sources? I used to be on Facebook and I was amazed at the people who I found. On the other hand, it is harder to find women as women change their names to their husband’s name. Even if you can’t meet her again, you might want to write a letter to her in which you share these feelings. Just keep it. At least you’ve put the words down and somehow that can feel good…just my two cents:~)

  3. Ah, First Love… What I remember is the thrill of learning about someone new; that excitement of the conversations, the discussions, the desire to share and ream and explore. And that is the part I want to continue to remember.
    Funny as I am talking about a person here but I realize that it applies to most anything I love – that book, that subject, that country… the love grows with time and knowledge and acceptance of each.
    The Exception´s last blog post ..Kindness and Compassion

    • Sara says:

      @TE — You make an excellent point. We have “first loves” that are not people. In my case, certain books would apply because they were the foundation of my love of reading. Thanks for sharing your thoughts about this:~)

  4. Alien Ghost says:

    Hi Sara,

    I had three first loves.

    The first one before reaching five, when I fell in love with machines, and learned that in a relationship you have to “study” and learn about your love in order to really “be there” when needed, instead of just taking for pleasure, which promotes a sour end to the relationship. I still live with this love these days.

    The second one, by the age of five, was falling in love with writing, but it has been a complex and bittersweet relationship of on and off, so today is more like my “mistress” 🙂

    The third one was a girl I met in pre-college at the age of 19, and with whom I applied my learned mechanical loving ways, and was afraid of the complications love can give. We didn’t have a song but I had one that made me remember her all the times: “Waiting for a girl like you” by Foreigner. This December we reach 27 years married!

    I know you are asking about couple’s love, but the first two were so intense at that point, with the flame remaining to these days, and had taught me so much about human relationships (the good, the bad and the ugly), that have had a definite influence in the third one, so I consider them part of my heart and my life.

    Raul
    Alien Ghost´s last blog post ..Escaping the Mud

    • Sara says:

      @ Alien Ghost (Raul) — WOW…twenty-seven years…that’s impressive. While I was talking about people love, I think you and TE brought up a valid point , there are lots of “first loves,” and not all of them relate to people. Thanks for sharing about this topic. I always enjoy how you think about things:~)

  5. Talon says:

    Animals (particularly dogs and horses — I used to be as a little girl terrified of cats) were my first love – particularly Spotty (our beagle when I was a little girl) and Gypsy (my horse). My second was reading because books opened up worlds I’d never even imagined. And then, at age 13, my first love of the human variety – totally innocent and sweet. My family ended up moving away (no internet in those days or facebook or cell phones) but we did see each other again a few years later but, by then, and I was in love with my now husband (of 30 years) – though we were off again/on again for a couple of years as we negotiated high school and college and all those transition points in life. The neat thing is, my first love and I are still friends to this day. He’s been happily married for 28 years and is now a grandfather (I like to tease him about that as we never imagined we’d ever be THAT old – lol). We remain good friends and we still remember those childhood days of the kind of love that is so pure and sweet and just a heart awakening. We don’t any any songs that come to mind with the first love. We were too busy running around on our bikes and riding horses and swimming and stuff to listen to the radio (no ipods then or the like). I think what triggers memories of that first love is when I see fireflies – we used to catch them in jars. Niagara-on-the-Lake had the most fireflies I’ve ever seen before or since.
    Talon´s last blog post ..Cheery Red

    • Sara says:

      @ Talon — Wow. I’m kind of jealous. I love that you’ve remained close to your “first love” and that both of you have been in such long lasting relationships. You don’t see this as much anymore. And it’s especially touching to me in that I sense that you and your husband are a good match…that also unusual when love comes at an early age. I think it’s a gift:~)

      I like that associate loving memories with fireflies. I love watching fireflies at night. They’re like live twinkling stars on earth!!!

  6. Shay says:

    My first love’s name was Janet. I wasn’t ready for her at the time, not nearly. When I think of her, I think of falling in love over a backgammon game. Sparks were flying back and forth, and finally the game was forgotten…we had better things to do.

    I always think of her in connection with a song she had. It was a Bob Marley song but was sung by Pat Travers. The title escapes me, but it goes:

    “We’ll be together

    With the roof right over our head

    We’ll share the shelter

    Of my single bed”

    If anybody knows the title of that song, I’d love to know.

    PS–I’m amazed in reading Talon’s comment that she was afraid of cats!!! How things change! 🙂
    Shay´s last blog post ..Thursday

    • Sara says:

      @ Shay — Ah, the sweet memories of first love. I think with our first loves, the “sparks” are even more enhanced because they are such new feelings. I remember with the guy I wrote about…just his touch seemed electric and it wasn’t “static electricity!”

      Regarding the song…guess what? I found it. It’s called “Is This Love.” I included the link. I like the lyrics of this song very much:~)

  7. JamieDedes says:

    What a lovely post and a lovely idea. I enjoyed reading all the responses, especially Ellis and Talon. Sara you could turn this into some kind of meme, I think.

    Anyway, I wrote a very short poem about my first love:
    http://musingbymoonlight.com/2010/07/20/one-summer-night-a-love-story/
    JamieDedes´s last blog post ..REMEMBER THE FIREFLIES

    • Sara says:

      @ Jamie– I read the poem and love it. Hey, anyone who stops by and reads these comments, click on Jamie link…she captures that “first love” feeling wonderfully in her poem:~)

      This has been an interesting subject. I have enjoyed reading everyone’s comments very much. It’s nice that most people to seem to have good memories of their first loves. I wasn’t sure how that would work out as I know sometimes first loves don’t end so well!

      Thanks again for sharing your poem…I love reading your words:~)

  8. JC says:

    Shay, “Is this love” by Bob Marley.
    Sara is my first love!

    • Sara says:

      @ JC — That was very nice of you to find the title and to say that I am your first love….except don’t you remember telling me about a few others here and there?????

      If anyone reads this, JC is my partner, which explains what he says in his comments sometimes. While maybe not my first or my second, he is the love I want to spend the rest of my life with:~)

  9. Panduh says:

    My first love… hmmm..

    I had one alright, but I like to pretend it didn’t happen because it just brings up bad memories about growing up.

    But my second first love was a girl, which also kinda brings up bad memories not because of her, but because of how my parents reacted to my dating of a girl. Either way, I was drawn to her because she was funny and very caring. We had a lot in common. We were together for about two years. I broke up with her because it was my senior year in high school and I wanted to just have fun and not worry about our long distance relationship, which at times was very stressful. There are a couple of songs that remind me of her, one being, “Back at One” by Brian McKnight. It was our song. haha.

    • Sara says:

      @ Panduh — That’s the thing about intense feelings; they can latch themselves to other things happening in your life. I always figure you love who love and that the gender of someone isn’t as important as the connection you make. It sounds like the second “first love” was someone who was special to you and it’s good that you shared common things. Unfortunately, it is a fact that most high school relationships do end when one or the other person leaves. It is hard to maintain long distance relationships.

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts about this subject:~)

  10. desk49 says:

    Love to,
    and would
    are two different things
    Somethings are best
    keep in the heart
    for what one has
    is better then
    what one might have

  11. suzen says:

    Hi Sara! Oh yes indeed I remember Mathias! He bumped others to sit next to me at story time, put his rug next to mine at rest time, OMG I was smitten. I felt dumped when winter came so I asked him why oh why was he not sitting next to me anymore?

    He told me that my fuzzy hairy arms were neat to cuddle up to and once I wore sweaters his thrill was gone! Well that darn boy gave me a lifelong complex about having hairy arms!

    It also made me suspicious of ANY boy and his alterior motives! Yes, it was kindergarten. I grew up fast! haha!
    hugs
    suZen
    suzen´s last blog post ..Are You ZAPPED by Your Cell Phone

    • Sara says:

      @ Suzen — LOL You’ve written the funniest story about first love and the truths told by young boys who did know better. My issue growing up was that I was skinny and I always got teased about it so I do understand the pains of those very early loves:~)

  12. Patricia says:

    My first love was reading….Oh I thought Mr. Knightly in Emma was just the best and Gilbert Blythe in Anne of Green Gables – now there was a good chap.

    I had lots of marriage proposals though I went to college without ever having a date….mostly from men with lots of problems to overcome and were looking for more the counselor type 🙂

    But nothing will ever compare to the love I felt as I held my babies for the first time and just breathed them in….I can conjure that up in my mind in just a flash…ah
    nice things to think about….I enjoyed reading everyone’s stories here too….”My Girl”, “The Mighty Quinn” and ” Bless the Broken Road” were our songs and are the ring tones on my cell phone!

    • Sara says:

      @ Patricia — Books about love; they taught us what to hope for. I agree that the love of holding our babies trumps any other kind of love. It’s all consuming and most powerful, but in a good way:~)

  13. Liz says:

    I like this post, however I don’t really want to talk about my first “love”. I could write about it in a blog post sometime, maybe, but it’s a bit embarrassing. We never met/slept together, but we did things on the phone. He was 3 years older than me, and I was a minor. I was going through a rough time. I refer to those year(s) as my “dark” ages/years/etc. Things weren’t going well at home. I was suicidal, I cut and I put myself down. Blogging has helped me recover from that, and that is why I have to continue blogging – it keeps me from getting that way again.

    I meant using the “reply” function, and it shows up as “@[insert person’s name here]”.

    • Sara says:

      @ Liz — I really do understand where you’re coming from. I had my own crises when I was in college. I wrote a post it. I seriously thought about suicide at that point and I also didn’t like myself very much. Fortunately, for both of us…we found a way out. I am pleased that blogging has helped you. I don’t know you face to face, but I can tell from your site that you are a gentle and kind person. Look at what you through to save that kitten…I also know the world is better place with you in it:~)

  14. Shay says:

    Thank you, JC and Sara! That’s the song!
    Shay´s last blog post ..Thursday

    • Sara says:

      @ Shay — Yeah, JC got after me because I missed his comment. He kept telling that he was first in finding the title for you. So, I will say this out loud on my site.

      JC beat me in finding the Bob Marley song title that that Shay was looking for!!!!

  15. Meredith says:

    Great post, Sara! You had me remembering with that special daydreamy mist that accompanies memories of our first love. 😉

    My first love came when I went to Germany at age 16. The girlfriend who I’d gone to stay with (an exchange student at my school who is now my oldest friend) was a member of a Catholic scout troupe — that was all boys! Suddenly I was surrounded by boys who found me incredibly exotic, “the American” and all that, and who fought each other for the pleasure of carrying my burdens, walking beside me, buying me drinks, asking me to dance. I was a geeky, ignored, bookworm in American high school, freckly, a bit too tall and a bit too plump; in Germany, I was considered petite and curvy, with freckles that were cool (they even had a song about them!), and a mind that was fascinating — and much more intelligent than the American stereotype. In these new circumstances, and knowing I was going to go home in six weeks and supposedly never to see these people again, I decided to try on a new personality, a more fun, bold one. I stayed out late at dance clubs, wore more daring clothes, tasted my first alcohol — in which, because it is legal there, almost no one overindulges, it’s considered gross and uncool to get smashed.

    I also flirted like mad with the boy of my choice. And I got him, in record time. There was nothing *slow* about it. 😉

    We dated for three years, and this is pre-internet, so our long distance relationship was conducted via letter (I still have two shoeboxes full of sweet letters), phone, taped messages (we removed the plastic casing of the cassettes and sent the spools of ribbon, so it was cheaper), and visits at Christmas, spring break, and summer.

    We broke it off because I got lonely and curious as a freshman in college, kissed another boy — and immediately figured out I didn’t love him and didn’t want to be doing that, but then called my love, crying, to confess my crime. He’d had the measles for the past two weeks, with a local girl coming to give him his homework assignments from school. And after I ‘fessed up, he told me he’d made love to her and didn’t love me anymore, and he broke up with me. I was devastated — and furious with him when, a few years ago on a visit to the States, he told me in a bar booth that it was all a lie. He was so hurt, he’d made all that stuff about the other girl up and spent the next six months dying to call me and confess and see if we could fix it.

    We still keep in touch, mostly through my sister, believe it or not. She and he became fast friends during our relationship. I saw him last at her wedding, two years back. He’s living in the Netherlands and his first baby was just born, a girl. 🙂
    Meredith´s last blog post ..wordless wednesday- tangle

    • Sara says:

      @ Meredith — What a story!!! This is a really touching “first love” story. You don’t often find first love stories that last so long, unless they end up in marriage. I think it was Talon who experienced a similar type of story and that she also is still has contact with her “first love.” I can’t believe you still have all the letters and tapes…wow.

      I always believe there are that we meet people in our lifetime for reasons — some are not necessarily meant to stay with us, but they are very important to helping us move emotionally from one place to another:~)

      Thank you for sharing about your “first love” :~)

  16. My first love?
    I remember it like it was yesterday.
    I still have the restraining order and i cherish it with all my heart.
    I consider it a special gift.
    Of the most priceless kind.
    ha ha. lol
    Arts Web Show´s last blog post ..Montage maison on youtube

    • Sara says:

      @ Arts Web Show — LOL I love that your saving the “restraining order!” I never did say all “first loves” end well!!

  17. Evelyn Lim says:

    My first love was at a time when I was 17. He was also kind and considerate. I think we outgrew each other. We were going in different directions. Or at least I was. After several years of no contact, he called me one day. Someone must have given him my house number. During the call, I told him that I was married and just had my first child. Well, he never called again.
    Evelyn Lim´s last blog post ..Inspirational Story- The Rich Merchant in a Tsunami

    • Sara says:

      @ Evelyn — LOL Sometimes it NOT a good idea to revisit “first loves.” As I said in another comment, we meet people for various reasons in our lives and some are meant to stay.

      Thank you for sharing:~)

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