Oldies, but Goodies

Photo by GlobalP

Need a laugh?

I desperately wanted to write something funny today, but it didn’t happen. In frustration, I started cleaning computer files instead. I tend to be a pack rat and keep tons of “stuff” on my computer.

Lucky me! In my clean-up, I found something funny. I have no idea where I got this writing from, but it made me laugh again. I thought it would be fun to put it up at my site.

You may have read it as it’s been around the blogosphere, but even oldies are goodies sometimes:~)

If you’ve read it and don’t want to read it again, be sure to scroll down to: “Give credit where credit is due…” You’re in for another really funny treat:~)

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM – Wagged my tail! My favorite Thing !
5:00 PM – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. B#stards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

Give credit where credit is due…

I don’t like to put things up at my site without giving a source.

So, when I decided to put this writing up, I turned to Google. I never found the source for the “Dog Diary.” If you know what it is, pass it on to me.

I was lucky and found the source for the “Cat Diary.” In the process, I discovered someone amazingly funny.

The source of the Cat Diary comes from a cartoon, Finding the Cat’s Diary, illustrated by Dan Piraro in 1995. Dan has a blog, Bizarro Comics, which features his cartoons.

I will not regret looking for this source. Once I got to his site, I had a hard time staying in my chair because I laughed so hard. I love his cartoons and the stories behind them. He’s a very talented and funny man!

For those of you, who like cartoons, do stop by his site. You will not regret it. And if someone sends you the Dog and Cat Diary, be sure to remind the them, The Cat Diary, while embellished, does have an actual source — Dan Piraro!

Photo Source: GlobalP