Photo by GlobalP
Need a laugh?
I desperately wanted to write something funny today, but it didn’t happen. In frustration, I started cleaning computer files instead. I tend to be a pack rat and keep tons of “stuff” on my computer.
Lucky me! In my clean-up, I found something funny. I have no idea where I got this writing from, but it made me laugh again. I thought it would be fun to put it up at my site.
You may have read it as it’s been around the blogosphere, but even oldies are goodies sometimes:~)
If you’ve read it and don’t want to read it again, be sure to scroll down to: “Give credit where credit is due…” You’re in for another really funny treat:~)
DOG DIARY
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM – Wagged my tail! My favorite Thing !
5:00 PM – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. B#stards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
Give credit where credit is due…
I don’t like to put things up at my site without giving a source.
So, when I decided to put this writing up, I turned to Google. I never found the source for the “Dog Diary.” If you know what it is, pass it on to me.
I was lucky and found the source for the “Cat Diary.” In the process, I discovered someone amazingly funny.
The source of the Cat Diary comes from a cartoon, Finding the Cat’s Diary, illustrated by Dan Piraro in 1995. Dan has a blog, Bizarro Comics, which features his cartoons.
I will not regret looking for this source. Once I got to his site, I had a hard time staying in my chair because I laughed so hard. I love his cartoons and the stories behind them. He’s a very talented and funny man!
For those of you, who like cartoons, do stop by his site. You will not regret it. And if someone sends you the Dog and Cat Diary, be sure to remind the them, The Cat Diary, while embellished, does have an actual source — Dan Piraro!
Photo Source: GlobalP
{ 34 comments… read them below or add one }
I had seen the dog diary before, and when I saw it, it had just the first line of the cat diary with it, about day 983. I had never seen the rest of the cat diary, and cracked up reading it now.
Fireblossom´s last [type] ..At least it isn’t haiku…
@ Shay — They are oldies, but goodies in the blogging time frame, but they’re funny and humor never grows old…at least not for me. Did you go to the link for Dan Pirar?. His cartoons are really funny:~)
Thanks for stopping by:~)
This is hilarious. No one retaliates better than a cat. I locked my two up once in my home office when I was having some furniture delivered. I didn’t want them to slip out of the front door since it would be open for an extended period of time. And one of them peed in the seat of my desk chair! A brilliant retaliation really, although at the time I was incensed.
Lynn´s last [type] ..Making a difference, kind lady and special treat
@ Lynn — Fortunately, Aggie’s pretty good about not using retaliation, but I’ve known cats who do things, like one you describe. If they’re left behind, they go in shoes and things like that. Imagine putting on your shoes…YUCK. Then again, my daughter had a dog with a panty fetish. It was really embarrassing for her…again, fortunately, the dog grew out of it:~)
Gosh….I read the title of your post today and thought you were talking about me! Then I read the old “stuff” from your and smiled and laughed….thanks…………Ken
@ Ken — We’re at the age where you focus on the “goodie” part and not the “oldie” part:~) Did you check out the cartoons by Dan Piraro? They are really funny!
As always, I love it when you stop by for a visit!
lol – I read this many years ago and it still cracks me up. Thanks for the laugh this morning, Sara and Dan.
Hope you and JC and Aggie have a lovely weekend, Sara!
Talon´s last [type] ..Gnarly
@ Talon — I’m pleased you had a good laugh. That was my intent. One of my greatest wishes is to be naturally funny, especially as a writer. I love reading writers who make me laugh. I think it’s such a gift to be able to put humor in words (or as in Dan’s case…pictures and words).
Thanks for stopping by, Talon:~)
Hi Sara! Now I am going to suggest to my two dogs that they start keeping a journal! How cute was that post! Very!
Hugs
SuZen
suzen´s last [type] ..Changing Behavior 2012 Style – The Easy Button!
@ Susan — Now, two dog diaries should be fun. I can imagine some of the entries. “Barked when Bob was chasing his tail and made the humans laugh. They couldn’t see the bee.” “Stole the master’s socks and put them in Harry’s bed, but after chewing on them for awhile.” and my favorite, “Didn’t eat my food until Bob was completely done with his. Then, I slowly munched on every bite as Bob drooled near me.” (I had a dog that really did this!)
See you could have lots of fun with this. Thanks for stopping by, Susan:~)
*wink wink* ~ Silly SARA – You aren’t late, you a bang on time; the draw for a winner in the Channelled Creations giveaway is NEXT thursday xxx
Carrie´s last [type] ..Sweet Etsy Goodness Interview and Giveaway ~ ChanelledCreations
@ Carrie — Wow. That’s great. I’m almost never on time for any kind of contest. I usually end arriving the day after. It’s just proof “the early bird get the prize.”
I love your photographs and your designs. I went through all 62? photos you had up. You’re very talented. Each one had something unique about it, even though many of them were pictures of simple things. I’m pleased you share them!
Thanks for the visit and keep that lottie weed free, okay:~)
I love to laugh and this filled the bill—-of course, I had to brouse around in the website, which was really a hoot! Thanks for a funnie, Sara. Hey, did you know that I do cartoons? I will have to send you some. I keep them in my studio at the door in a book and I see people smile when they look at them. They are kind of “Far Side-y”—–remember those? Broke my heartr when that guy quit! Guess I had to make my own!
@ Jean — You can’t miss the fact that YOU love to laugh and you given me tons of material for making me laugh. Boy, there are times, when the videos or whatever you send is perfect for my day. I saved the pole dancing bear and it still cracks me up!
I didn’t know you do cartoons!! Yes, please send me some. Far Side is my favorite. I have a bunch of older books and I still giggle through them. Actually Dan’s work reminded me of Far Side. Oh, do send my pictures…please!!!!
I made myself a note to send you the set of cartoons—I think some of them will make you laugh!
@ Jean — I’ll be looking for them:~)
That’s awesome! You know, the guy could actually write and publish a novel for the Cat’s Diary thing, extending it. I’m not sure how you read it, but I read it in a monotone, picturing the cat as this super-sophisticated soul.
Thanks for sharing.
Liz´s last [type] ..This is what they warned you about when you were a child.
@ Liz — It’s funny you should the “voice” as I read in the same way…sort of a bored, but annoyed way. Kind of like the looks my cat gives me when I’m bothering her:~) It is fun to laugh and thank goodness for any art work that tickles our funny bones, even if it an oldie but goodie.
I appreciate the visit!
Hi Sara — that’s true, I think, that dogs are great teachers of how to really enjoy every moment. They never cease to amaze me with how energetically they embrace everything they do.
@ Chris — Dogs are usually the enthusiastic ones. They’re almost always excited to see someone or do something. Cat’s are more laid back and pick their times for showing enthusiasm….like when you’re trying to sleep in and the cat wants you awake:~)
It nice to see you out and about the blogosphere again. I was very impressed with your latest musical songs:~)
Hey Sara:
I love the two POV’s:) I followed your advice. Went over to WriteOnEdge. They’re having a weekend linkup. Everyone posts a link to one of their favorite pieces of writing. I posted now I can’t wait to read a bunch of other folks.’ Thanks for the reading lead:)
Diane Tarantini´s last [type] ..The Bodacious Maturation of Wonder Riley–1
@ Diane — Well, I’ve actually already visited your site and I’m so pleased you did this!!! I think you’ll really like it. Sometimes it takes some time for the writer’s to get to know you and do visit the other people who link up….they almost always return the visit and usually give helpful comments. It’s a good community.
Thanks for the visit, Diane:`)
Sara, I have read these, or at least versions of these, and they are indeed funny. Thing is that none of our cats even come close to “thinking” or behaving like the cat in diary. I hear all kinds of stories of disgruntled cats wreaking havoc on their people and their possessions. The most that happens, and Rosie seems to have mellowed on this, is that whenever we had been away, when we went to bed, he would constantly be back and forth “checking on us” to make sure we were still there. He also liked to bite on me. He is never mean about it, sometimes they are affectionate and sometimes he is just upset or irritated, and trying to make me understand. That has lessened lately. It may have something to do with the fact that he now comes out for the pet sitter.
All cats are different and Mom always said that our cats were the way they were because of how we treated them. They are family.
Linda´s last [type] ..The Sillies
@ Linda — I like the last line of this comment….”It may have something to do with the fact that he now comes out for the pet sitter.” LOL I have had both dogs and cats. While cats aren’t quite the cynic of the one in the Cat Diary, they do have their moments. On the other hand, I agree with this quote by Rod McKuen:
“There has never been a cat Who couldn’t calm me down
By walking slowly Past my chair.”
You are right, however, cats are family and they do show a lot of affection:~)
Yes, I’ve seen these before and I laugh every time I read them. They are so hilarious because they are so true. As the owner of both dogs and cats in my lifetime, I can relate. Haha!
Caity´s last [type] ..20 Questions
@ Caity — I agree totally. I’ve had both cats and dogs most of my life and they have different approaches to life:~)
Hi Sara .. I hadn’t seen these – but they’re fun aren’t they – tell us how we can easily create a story .. I love the cat’s: 983 days in captivity!
Cheers – Hilary
@ Hilary — I’m please you enjoyed these. There’s nothing like a good laugh:~)
I have read neither of these dear Sara and they both made me laugh on a day when the The Dark Destroyer is trying to gain control.
But then your site is always uplifting.
(Apologies if link above ends up looking like a mess of code as one never knows how everyone’s comment boxes are configured.)
pea´s last [type] ..Writer’s Haven
@ Pea — GOOD. Let’s put that Dark Destroyer in her place. Having know my own “Dark Destroyer,” I’ve found humor to be one of the best weapons against the DD:~) I got the link just fine.
It worked! Ha Ha! La la la!
pea´s last [type] ..Writer’s Haven
@ Pea…You did it:~) Remember to find ways to LAUGH. It’s one of the quickest ways to keep yourself in the present.
Thanks. I did enjoy these. Your cat is much more politely spoken than mine
@ john malone — I can’t take credit for the cat diary as I didn’t write it, but I can tell you my cat isn’t always polite. However, fortunately for others, you have to understand “cat” to realize when she’s cussing you out — something she likes to do whenI forget to let her out, don’t add enough treats to her food bowl, or try to sleep in on a Saturday. Those are just a few reasons. I’ve threatened to wash her mouth out with soap, but she counters by reminding me how good she is at coughing up hairballs:~)
Thanks for the visit:~)