On-line Dating Tip: Make First Date Special

by Sara on January 29, 2013

I’m changing things up this week. I’m making my Tuesday post a fiction post. Hopefully, you’ll have fun reading this one:~)

With impending doom, Alistair watched the woman approaching his table. She looked like a Dr. Seuss character with her short pink ruffled skirt, blue striped tights, and clunky orange clogs.

He begged the dating gods to let her pass, but they weren’t listening. The woman stopped at his table. “Hi, Alistair; I’m Jilly. You look just like your picture!”

She didn’t look like hers, but he decided it wouldn’t be polite to tell her so. He stood up, smoothed down his gray Armani suit and pulled a chair out. “It’s nice to meet you, Jilly. Please have a seat.”

She sat, pushing her pink ruffles under the table. He slunk down in his chair. This was going to be a long night.

The waiter arrived with the expensive Zinfandel Alistair had ordered and opened it.

“I took the liberty and ordered wine. I hope that’s okay, Jilly.”

She looked at him and said, “Well, actually I’d prefer a Shirley Temple.” Alistair froze, waiting for the punch line. It didn’t come.

The waiter’s voice oozed disdain, as he said, “Will that be with a straw or without, madam?”

“Oh, definitely with a straw.” Jilly gave the waiter a big smile. His eyes flashed pity for Alistair as he disappeared.

“What? You don’t like wine?” Alistair twirled his own glass so hard, it almost spilled.

“It’s okay. I like Shirley Temples better. They’re more fun.”

Alistair inwardly groaned. This was like a date with a ten-year-old.

Jilly’s drink arrived with its green umbrella and red cherry floating at the bottom. The waiter placed an unopened straw next to the drink and left.

Preoccupied, Alistair didn’t notice Jilly’s mischievous look as she opened the straw and put it between her cherry red lips. By the time his brain registered what she was about do, it was too late.

She puffed her cheeks out and blew. Alistair ducked. The straw cover sailed past him. He glared at her, but Jilly’s eyes followed the path of the disappearing straw cover.

A giggle popped out of her mouth. Alistair frowned. He was definitely getting a refund from loveisadateaway.com.

In a stage whisper, Jilly said, “Scoot over. You’re not going to believe this.”

Alistair took a sip of wine and made a life-changing decision. He slid his chair closer to Jilly. She grabbed his arm and said, “See that woman two tables over?”

He looked. The white straw cover was sticking out of a woman’s stiff hairdo, jiggling with her every word.

“Think it’ll fall, Alistair?” They watched it bob up and down, back and forth. It didn’t fall.

“Someone’s bound to tell her.” Alistair whispered. But no one did.

The people at the table glanced at the bobbing straw cover, but pretended as if nothing was wrong. Even the waiter ignored it as he served their food.

Struggling to control his laughter, Alistair said, “Wow. This is like being in a Groucho Marx movie”

Jilly glanced at him with surprise. “You like Groucho Marx? I do, too!”

They turned back. The woman had lowered her head, making the straw cover look like a flag pole bobbing in the wind.

That did it. Their laughter burst out, loud and noisy. Tears streamed from Alistair eyes. Jilly put her head on the table, slapping it with her hand.

Everyone in the restaurant stared at them, including the lady with bobbing straw.

The maître d’ headed in their direction. Alistair threw a hundred dollar bill on the table. He pulled Jilly out of the restaurant, but not before she grabbed the straw out of the woman’s hair.

People on the sidewalk stared and walked around the couple bent over in laughter. Eventually, Alistair got the hiccups.

“Jilly, this was (hic) the most fun (hic) I’ve had on a date (hic). Want go (hic) out tomorrow night? Alistair took a deep breath and held it, making his face red.

Jilly nodded and held the straw cover out like a cigar and waggled her eyebrows. Alistair forgot his hiccups. He pulled her to him and kissed her hard.

When they caught their breath, he said, “They’re playing Groucho Marx movies at the old theater on Fifth. Want to go tomorrow?”

Jilly smiled and said, “We can go for Shirley Temples afterwards.

“And definitely with straws!” Alistair added, his eyes sparkling. That started their laughter all over again.

The End

 

{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }

Fireblossom January 29, 2013 at 10:20 pm

Aw. Score another one for the immature! :-)
Fireblossom´s last blog post ..Book Review: "The Lion Is In"

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Sara January 31, 2013 at 11:13 am

@ Fireblossom — LOL what can I say. Everyone needs to return to their child every once in awhile…even Alistair:~)

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Kelvin Kao January 30, 2013 at 1:12 am

I think my response to “You look just like your picture!” would’ve been “And I can’t quite say the same about your picture.”

Wow, I have no tact. Haha.
Kelvin Kao´s last blog post ..Looking Back At 2012

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Sara January 31, 2013 at 11:16 am

@ Kelvin — Well, Alistair definitely thought that. One of the things about this story is teases about online dating. It’s pretty common for the pictures put up at the dating site to be DIFFERENT than the real person.

Thanks for reading this story:~)

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Lynn January 30, 2013 at 6:09 am

Ah – that’s delightful! I could see the whole thing – good job!
Lynn´s last blog post ..Peacefully perched, Lomo effect and ladybug redux

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Sara January 31, 2013 at 11:17 am

@ Lyn — Thank you very much. It was fun to write:~) Sometimes I get tired of being so serious regarding writing and need a bon-bon story to make me smile again:~)

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suZen January 30, 2013 at 9:44 am

Hi Sara,
Oh that was so cute! The Odd Couple!
Hugs
SuZen
suZen´s last blog post ..Big Butts and Bellies

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Sara January 31, 2013 at 11:18 am

@ SuZen — I like the “Odd Couple”….they were that! Thanks for reading this story. I’m pleased you enjoyed it.

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jean sampson January 30, 2013 at 10:19 am

I just love it, love it, love it!!!! I could see Shirley McLaine in the Jilly role and maybe David Niven in the Alistair roll. Did I say that I loved it??

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Sara January 31, 2013 at 11:19 am

@ Jean — AH, that would be nice to have Shirley McLaine and David Niven in those roles.

I’m very happy you LOVED it:~)

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Valerie January 30, 2013 at 12:43 pm

Sara, This was the most fun I’ve had reading a blog post in a long, long time!! A sweet happy story that I adored!!

I want a Shirley Temple now too! And definitely with a straw;)
Valerie´s last blog post ..Write at the Merge: Stolen

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Sara January 31, 2013 at 11:23 am

@ Valerie — Now you’ve made me blush:~) I really am pleased you enjoyed this story. The funny thing is my sister and I always had Shirley Temples when we out with my parents. One time she played the role of Alistair and blew a draw that landed in a woman’s hair. The woman was totally unaware of the straw in her hair. My parents made us leave and sit in the car because we were laughing so hard. They also let the woman about the straw.

So, like your excellent Write on the Merge story, Stolen, the online dating tip story is based on truth.

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Alien Ghost January 30, 2013 at 3:57 pm

Hi Sara,

Funny isn’t it? We all have to learn to show a mature face and behavior in society, and as we go, we also learn to criticize (at least in our minds) when others don’t go by society secret rules. Yet we all have a child inside that help us (when we allow it) to enjoy the simple (and free) things of life.

This story not only is awesome and very funny, but also reflect so well how we behave in society, and at the same time create society as we behave in it.

You are an amazing writer Sara! I hope you are putting together all your short stories to publish as a book sometime soon. :)

Raul
Alien Ghost´s last blog post ..Unconscious Writing

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Sara January 31, 2013 at 11:27 am

@ Alien Ghost — I love what you said. It is true; the child in us helps us enjoy things and not take life too seriously.

Thank you very much for what you said about my writing. I do have fun with it. I think it’s important to let characters play and hopefully, this story will make someone laugh.

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Carrie January 30, 2013 at 4:48 pm

I LOVE it, I just think this is the start to the most beautiful love movie – funny, sweet and a little emotional. It’s like the Notebook.
You have me smiling like a silly little girl :)
Carrie´s last blog post ..Our Shed Makeover pt1

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Sara January 31, 2013 at 11:30 am

@ Carrie — Now that is worth writing the story….getting you to smile like a “silly little girl.” That’s the whole point of these romantic stories — they’ll never be great literature, but if they make someone smile, I’m happy!

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Chris Edgar January 30, 2013 at 10:40 pm

That’s fun — it reminds me of a former girlfriend who used to enjoy trying to break into locked public buildings when she was with me. I would get a little bit anxious about it while she was doing it (thankfully, perhaps, she didn’t usually succeed) but when I look back on it, it was definitely fun.
Chris Edgar´s last blog post ..Long Live Peter Pan

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Sara January 31, 2013 at 11:33 am

@ Chris — I can imagine that might create some anxiety in you! But doing daredevil stuff can be exhilarating at times, as long you don’t get caught. I remember once climbing to top of a forest watch tower at night (definitely illegal), but the view of the night sky made it well worth it.

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Asproulla January 31, 2013 at 7:04 am

Lovely! Very visual: your description of clothing, actions, mannerisms really brought it to life. So glad that Alistair got down off his high horse and realised that you can bond with people who don’t seem ‘your type’!
Asproulla´s last blog post ..Frog & Flower

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Sara January 31, 2013 at 11:39 am

@ Asproulla — Welcome back. I have missed you and your writings/pictures, but I do understand the need for blogging breaks:~)

Thanks for your comment about the story. I’m glad Alistair had fun, too:~)

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Patty January 31, 2013 at 1:39 pm

I’m smiling and laughing this morning reading this, Sara. Your stories really grab me and I love this theme. Here’s to free spirit non-conformists getting together with buttoned-up conformists!
Patty´s last blog post ..turning toward the spiral of life

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Sara February 4, 2013 at 5:02 pm

@ Patty — Thank you. I love it when a story makes someone laugh:~)

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Talon January 31, 2013 at 11:37 pm

I’m back, Sara :)

Wanted to say “hi” and I’ll be savoring your story with my coffee in the morning and will reply properly then!
Talon´s last blog post ..Cryptical

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Sara February 4, 2013 at 4:28 pm

@ Talon — Savor away and enjoy your coffee:~)

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Patricia of Patricias Wisdom February 1, 2013 at 12:20 am

Oh Sara this was de LIGHT FULL I just enjoyed it so much and I see there is some truth to the tale also…neat

I always think a sense of humor is important in folks and I think that would be a winning quality on a first date…but this couple needed a surprise push to find the truth and remove the pretension
Very nice writing – thank you
Patricia of Patricias Wisdom´s last blog post ..The Myths of Happiness ~Sonja Lyubomirsky

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Sara February 4, 2013 at 4:30 pm

@ Patricia — I like the term “light-full” that’s a good to describe these romantic interludes I enjoy writing so much.

Ah, the world would be a sad place without a sense of humor to keep it from falling out of the sky:~)

Thanks for the read, Patricia.

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Linda February 1, 2013 at 11:58 am

Such a sweet story, although I didn’t think it was going to work out in the beginning. Though Jilly seemed childlike, she was in fact a free spirit, and Alistair, the stuffed shirt was, merely uninitiated in frivolity. We can learn a lot about first impressions from this.
Linda´s last blog post ..Cheesy Fun

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Sara February 4, 2013 at 4:39 pm

@ Linda — I like these words “uninitiated in frivolity.” I’ve know quite a few people who have that condition.

Yes, first impressions in online dating can lead to mistakes. Fortunately, for Alistair, he was able to overcome his own first impression.

Thanks for reading the story:~)

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Talon February 1, 2013 at 12:28 pm

Sara, what a charming story! That’s the best word I can think of to describe it. And the “loveisadateaway.com” was brilliant. :)

Alistair needed some loosening up!
Talon´s last blog post ..Cryptical

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Sara February 4, 2013 at 4:42 pm

@ Talon — Hey, I’ll take “charming” any day. It’s hard to find a dating site name that isn’t already taken. This wasn’t taken and it fit the story.

Thanks for the read! OH. I also very glad you are back!!!!

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Ginny February 13, 2013 at 1:49 pm

Sara, I love this story. I could picture everything and I laughed out loud. I needed to laugh today so once again, thank you! It was perfect.
Ginny´s last blog post ..Wednesday’s Walk

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Sara February 18, 2013 at 2:51 pm

@ Ginny — That’s make me feel very good. I like writing stories that make people laugh:~)

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