Fiction: The Handmade Card

I got the handmade card you sent. It was full of sparkling glitter and glued on red hearts. The message inside was typical of you: You will always belong to me.

Really, you shouldn’t have sent it. After five years, your words can’t harm me anymore. I’m better now — the jagged cut down my face you made to mark me and the slashes across my wrists I made to escape you are slowly healing.

I’m sorry to tell you this, but I’ve found an amazing man. He’s been an elixir for my constant fear. He makes me sigh when his lips touch mine with feathery kisses. And when his fingers dance their way down my stomach, I shiver with pleasure. He knows how to love me. In short, he’s nothing like you.

Oh! Before I forget, I gave the card to the police. You were careful, but their forensics tests were better. They found a single hair stuck in the glitter. It matched a recent case two counties over. Unlike me, the woman died. Unlucky for you, they caught you this time.

I imagine you will read this letter in your tiny cell. Your arrival must have sparked some interest. The pretty ones always do. You’ll have plenty of time to dwell on the cold eyes of men watching your every move, licking their lips in anticipation. Does this scare you? I hope so.

You will not be on my mind this Valentine’s Day. I’ll be with that man I mentioned. We’ll make love and afterwards take a walk, crunching through the snow, smelling the woodsy scent of fireplaces, and watching twinkling stars rise in the violet sky. It’s a shame your jail cell has no windows.

Have a happy Valentine’s Day, but do watch your back.

*     *     *     *     *

With this post, I am linking to two different prompts. One is the Trifecta Writing Challenge, using the word DWELL. The word limit was 333 words. The second prompt was from Write at the Merge and it was to use the word ELIXIR.

56 comments to Fiction: The Handmade Card

  1. Hilary says:

    Hi Sara .. what a great post … and so well written – I can “see” it all … I had a card too … I’ve shown mine and written about my special Valentine .. cheers Hilary
    Hilary´s last blog post ..Lenny, Lenny, Lenny – how you pull my heart strings…..

    • Sara says:

      @ Hilary — I read about Lenny’s card and gifts. It was a wonderful post. I hope you’re enjoying your brief respite:~)

      Thanks for your comment about the story. It is much appreciated.

  2. Libby says:

    Daaaamn! LOL! What a great letter! And, what a twist on “You will always belong to me.” I like how she taunts him too…shows he didn’t break her :)

    • Sara says:

      @ Libby — It was a fun story to write. I got out all my aggressions via sharp words, though this is totally fiction.

      Thanks for your comment about the story. It’s much appreciated.

  3. Atreyee says:

    Wow!What a fabulous piece of writing!It sent thrills & chills down my spine:-)Am glad she found a man who values her & that she has healed & happy.Wonderful that her tormentor got caught-all smugness gone I hope & that was a great bit about him watching his back,lol!
    Atreyee´s last blog post ..Cupid’s angst

    • Sara says:

      @ Atreyee — Yea, I wasn’t sure how people would take to that last line, but it did seem fitting given his history.

      I’m pleased you enjoyed reading the story.

  4. Wow – you were right – dark! I’m still a bit scared for her though. That letter is just asking for him to take revenge. Frightening and well written.
    gretchenfogelstrom´s last blog post ..Dwelling On The Mystery

    • Sara says:

      @ gretchenfogelstrom — The fiction story I posted before this one was a light bonbon romantic story. I mention this so you know visiting my site isn’t all gloom and murder.

      You know how sometimes you write a letter because you’ve got to get the words out, but you are right, sometimes these letters come back to haunt.

      Thanks for reading the story.

  5. steph says:

    You’ll have plenty of time to dwell on the cold eyes of men watching your every move.. someone who will get what he deserves – finally. Creepy – in a well-written way. Nice use of the elixir prompt as well…
    steph´s last blog post ..It Was Too Easy

    • Sara says:

      @ steph — I’ve read the comments and “creepy” seems to be a favorite description of this story. Not that this bothers me, I sort of write whatever comes to me based on the prompt. I’m not sure how the words “dwell” from Trifecta and “elixir” from Write at the Merge led me in this direction, but it was fun to write.

      Thanks for stopping by and reading this story. I appreciate it:~)

  6. Tina says:

    Wow! Was this fiction? Because that was intense! I was sucked right in to the story. Great job!
    Tina´s last blog post ..Dumped

  7. desk49 says:

    writing from ones heart
    words racing across white
    black lines wiggle wildly
    thoughts twist about
    will others understand
    do even I

    No I’m not writing yet
    I ask myself why
    still I’ve answered not

    • Sara says:

      @ desk49 — Well, it’s nice to see you here and to have a new Ellis poem. Hopefully, you will answer the question in the affirmative at some point.

      I miss your writing, but thanks for stopping by:~)

  8. Talon says:

    Yikes – put’s a whole different spin on Valentine’s Day, Sara! :)

    PS: I loved it!!
    Talon´s last blog post ..Intrinsic

    • Sara says:

      @ Talon — You are right. This is a different “spin” on Valentine’s Day. This story was a “seat of your pants” story. It sort of just developed based the first line. I didn’t where it was going to go, but it fun getting it there.

      I am very pleased and honored that you liked it:~)

  9. Draug419 says:

    ha! I love this (: Getting exactly what he deserves!

    • Sara says:

      @ Draug419 — Thanks! Yes, he did get what he deserves. I had a good time writing this story.

      Thank you very much for stopping by and reading it:~)

  10. What a great read and you do have a way with words. Interesting the take on Valentine’s Day as that is often when the troubled try to mask and stalk…eerie.

    This gave me goose bumps – oh maybe that was the virus!
    Good job here
    I got flowers from my youngest’s boyfriend…what a deal!
    Patricia of Patricias Wisdom´s last blog post ..LOL Loving Pie, Pie II

    • Sara says:

      @ Patricia — I do hope the story didn’t make you feel worse and that you’ve sent that nasty virus off to jail, not to return.

      AHHHH…that’s so sweet about the flowers. Someone wants to make a good impression on someone’s mother…I assume he succeeded. He would have with me:~)

  11. Chris Edgar says:

    It’s interesting — what occurred to me as I read this is that he actually is on her mind this Valentine’s Day, and maybe that is intentional irony — even though her mind is on enjoying the suffering she imagines he is going through, rather than reminiscing about the earlier times when she may have enjoyed their relationship.
    Chris Edgar´s last blog post ..New Steve’s Quest Screenshots

    • Sara says:

      @ Chris — I can see your point, but this woman never enjoyed a good relationship with this man. He’s not exactly capable to being good to women. That said, everyone has their own take on a story. That’s the nice about fiction. You never really know how a reader will respond and what they will take away from the story.

      Thank you very much for taking time to read this story. I appreciated it:~)

  12. Kelvin Kao says:

    Empowering to write. Probably not as wise to actually send…
    Kelvin Kao´s last blog post ..Happy Valentine’s Day

    • Sara says:

      @ Kelvin — I love your comments. This one made me really laugh. It sort of summed it all up. She’s probably safe as long as he stays in jail. If I more words, I would have stuck him in a prison in Venezuela, they’re known for having the toughest and meanest prisons. I’m not nice to men like this, even when they’re just characters in my story:~)

      As always, thanks for the read!

  13. Hoping the creep never gets out of jail…
    KymmInBarcelona´s last blog post ..Town Called Irony

    • Sara says:

      @ KymminBarcelona — See my comment to Kelvin Kao…just needed a few more words and that guy would have never gotten released and well, we won’t discuss what might have happened to him while in jail.

      Hey, congratulations on winning an award at Trifecta. So cool and good writing:~)

  14. Mike says:

    Now that’s what you call a Valentines letter!
    I enjoyed this.

  15. Linda says:

    This is a very good story, and quite a different take on Valentine’s day. I reckon she really told him. Good for her! Hope you had a Happy Valentine’s Day!
    Linda´s last blog post ..Or Else

    • Sara says:

      @ Linda — I appreciate your comments about the story and yes, I did have a very nice Valentine’s Day. I got chocolate and a beautiful rose:~) The rose is still around, but the chocolate is loooong gone:~)

  16. AR Neal says:

    Sarah: This was a great mashup of the two prompts! Great take on both, and a great story overall. I love the idea of how she moved past this monster, how he got caught, and how methodically she describes her happiness. Yeah–stick it to him on behalf of all the abused women in the world :)
    AR Neal´s last blog post ..Irresistable Shares: No Ride on the Glimmer Train…Yet

    • Sara says:

      @ ARNeal — It’s fun when you use two in one! I’m pleased you liked the story and yes, her words reaffirmed that she is a survivor. It’s also a reminder that sometimes it’s good to get out your anger, but it also wise to wait until it’s safe to do so.

      Thank you very much for reading this story. I pleased you liked it:~)

  17. Carrie says:

    I love how you structured it as a letter to an ex
    Carrie´s last blog post ..Road to Tomorrow {Book Review & Giveaway}

    • Sara says:

      @ Carrie — I have to confess, I didn’t really think of him as her ex, but it did fit the story. I’m pleased you liked the use of the letter approach to the writing. For me, it was more personal that way.

      Thank you for reading this writing:~)

  18. Yowza! That is beyond awesome. You left me such a nice substantial comment, I wish I could return the favor, but I loved every word of this.
    Kathleen Basi´s last blog post ..Lenten Reflections (A 7QT Post)

    • Sara says:

      @ Kathleen Basi — That’s okay. I’m content with “awesome.” I’m just pleased you liked the story and I thank you for reading it:~)

  19. Bee says:

    Looks like he’ll be getting his comeuppance! It sounds like she still defers to him, though, in the way that she apologizes for having met someone, and that she hopes he’ll be scared in jail. Maybe take out the “I’m sorry” and the “I hope so,” to give her an even stronger voice.

    One other thing is the second sentence. If he made the card, then he would already know that it has glitter and hearts glued on. I wonder if you can somehow work this into the paragraph in which she describes handing it to the police?

    Well done!

    • Sara says:

      @ Bee — Thanks for your comment and your constructive feedback. I need to work on writing sarcasm better. Hey, it’s all a learning process and I like getting feedback that shows me how a reader reacted to the story and what could be changed in it. It’s what helps me become a better writer. So, thank you very much:~)

  20. jean sampson says:

    Creepy! And very, very engaging! I was totally caught off guard! And I thought you were going to write something sweet for Valentine’s Day! Fooled me!
    I think you are an amazing writer, Sara! :)

    • Sara says:

      @ Jean — Yes, “creepy” definitely was the word used most to describe this story. But, you will appreciate how it was created. It was like an planned painting. The first sentence came to me and then the rest slowly developed in colors and tone. It’s my favorite way to write…even if it is a bit on the dark side:~)

      Thank you for reading the story. I always appreciate your comments!

  21. suZen says:

    Wow Sara! Fantastic! It reminds me of a journaling assignment called “The Unsent Letter” where you really dump every intense feeling (it can be good or bad) to someone you need closure with. It can be very healing! I’ve done it countless times.
    Hugs
    SuZen
    suZen´s last blog post ..50 Shades of Phude

    • Sara says:

      @ SuZen — Yes, I think this story would fit “dumping intense feelings.” I’m not sure the woman in the story will ever get complete closure from this monster of a man, but maybe this letter would get her closer to it.

      I agree with you about the “unsent letter.” The most important part to remember is to NOT SEND it if you value the relationship in any form or fashion. This is the one disadvantage of e-mail and texting…it makes it easy to just hit “send.”

      Thank you for reading this story!

  22. Carrie says:

    holey moley Sara, that has creeped me right out! superb writing xxx
    Carrie´s last blog post ..Looking longingly at Friday

    • Sara says:

      @ Carrie — Thank you very much. It was a bit creepy, but it was also fun to write.

      I hope you’ve had some sunshine since I visited last:~)

  23. jody says:

    I’ll bet every victim wishes to have such an opportunity as this.

  24. Katy B. says:

    Poetic justice! Thanks for sharing. (I linked through from a Studio 30+ prompt.)
    Katy B.´s last blog post ..Tea for Two

    • Sara says:

      @ Katy B. — I had never heard of Studio 30+prompt. I looked it up, but it was a bit confusing. You have join, right? Anyway, I enjoyed your story very much and thanks for reading mine!

  25. Annabelle says:

    “The pretty ones always do.” Deliciously nasty!
    Annabelle´s last blog post ..The Twelve Dancers

    • Sara says:

      @ Annabelle — Well, it’s true…She was on a roll by that part:~)

      Thanks for reading the story and leaving a comment about it. It’s very much appreciated.

  26. Revenge is best served cold, and serve it she did!
    ~Cam

  27. Valerie says:

    “…the jagged cut down my face you made to mark me and the slashes across my wrists I made to escape you…”

    Stunning Sara! This is one of your best pieces ever!! So well written!!

    (And I love the idea of the special “valentines” her ex will receive in jail, too…)
    Valerie´s last blog post ..Picture Postcard Perfect

  28. Alien Ghost says:

    Hi Sara,

    I’m always amazed at how you can provoke feelings in a reader using so little words! Just after the second paragraph the mood was set in my mind and the way I “heard” the words while reading them changed to a mix of anger and sadness in the tone.

    You are really a gifted writer! I know you have been working really hard in polishing your writing skills, but still it takes more than just hard work to be able to create the atmosphere of the scene using just a couple of sentences. Great Job!!

    Raul
    Alien Ghost´s last blog post ..What If…

    • Sara says:

      @ Alien Ghost — What you said was very, very nice and it means a lot to me. I am really trying to learn how to be a better writer. I appreciate your comment so much:~)

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