Fiction: The Handmade Card

by Sara on February 14, 2013

I got the handmade card you sent. It was full of sparkling glitter and glued on red hearts. The message inside was typical of you: You will always belong to me.

Really, you shouldn’t have sent it. After five years, your words can’t harm me anymore. I’m better now — the jagged cut down my face you made to mark me and the slashes across my wrists I made to escape you are slowly healing.

I’m sorry to tell you this, but I’ve found an amazing man. He’s been an elixir for my constant fear. He makes me sigh when his lips touch mine with feathery kisses. And when his fingers dance their way down my stomach, I shiver with pleasure. He knows how to love me. In short, he’s nothing like you.

Oh! Before I forget, I gave the card to the police. You were careful, but their forensics tests were better. They found a single hair stuck in the glitter. It matched a recent case two counties over. Unlike me, the woman died. Unlucky for you, they caught you this time.

I imagine you will read this letter in your tiny cell. Your arrival must have sparked some interest. The pretty ones always do. You’ll have plenty of time to dwell on the cold eyes of men watching your every move, licking their lips in anticipation. Does this scare you? I hope so.

You will not be on my mind this Valentine’s Day. I’ll be with that man I mentioned. We’ll make love and afterwards take a walk, crunching through the snow, smelling the woodsy scent of fireplaces, and watching twinkling stars rise in the violet sky. It’s a shame your jail cell has no windows.

Have a happy Valentine’s Day, but do watch your back.

*     *     *     *     *

With this post, I am linking to two different prompts. One is the Trifecta Writing Challenge, using the word DWELL. The word limit was 333 words. The second prompt was from Write at the Merge and it was to use the word ELIXIR.

{ 56 comments… read them below or add one }

Hilary February 14, 2013 at 1:22 pm

Hi Sara .. what a great post … and so well written – I can “see” it all … I had a card too … I’ve shown mine and written about my special Valentine .. cheers Hilary
Hilary´s last blog post ..Lenny, Lenny, Lenny – how you pull my heart strings…..


Sara February 18, 2013 at 2:56 pm

@ Hilary — I read about Lenny’s card and gifts. It was a wonderful post. I hope you’re enjoying your brief respite:~)

Thanks for your comment about the story. It is much appreciated.


Libby February 14, 2013 at 1:40 pm

Daaaamn! LOL! What a great letter! And, what a twist on “You will always belong to me.” I like how she taunts him too…shows he didn’t break her :)


Sara February 18, 2013 at 2:57 pm

@ Libby — It was a fun story to write. I got out all my aggressions via sharp words, though this is totally fiction.

Thanks for your comment about the story. It’s much appreciated.


Atreyee February 14, 2013 at 4:37 pm

Wow!What a fabulous piece of writing!It sent thrills & chills down my spine:-)Am glad she found a man who values her & that she has healed & happy.Wonderful that her tormentor got caught-all smugness gone I hope & that was a great bit about him watching his back,lol!
Atreyee´s last blog post ..Cupid’s angst


Sara February 18, 2013 at 2:59 pm

@ Atreyee — Yea, I wasn’t sure how people would take to that last line, but it did seem fitting given his history.

I’m pleased you enjoyed reading the story.


gretchenfogelstrom February 14, 2013 at 6:16 pm

Wow – you were right – dark! I’m still a bit scared for her though. That letter is just asking for him to take revenge. Frightening and well written.
gretchenfogelstrom´s last blog post ..Dwelling On The Mystery


Sara February 18, 2013 at 3:02 pm

@ gretchenfogelstrom — The fiction story I posted before this one was a light bonbon romantic story. I mention this so you know visiting my site isn’t all gloom and murder.

You know how sometimes you write a letter because you’ve got to get the words out, but you are right, sometimes these letters come back to haunt.

Thanks for reading the story.


steph February 14, 2013 at 6:31 pm

You’ll have plenty of time to dwell on the cold eyes of men watching your every move.. someone who will get what he deserves – finally. Creepy – in a well-written way. Nice use of the elixir prompt as well…
steph´s last blog post ..It Was Too Easy


Sara February 18, 2013 at 3:06 pm

@ steph — I’ve read the comments and “creepy” seems to be a favorite description of this story. Not that this bothers me, I sort of write whatever comes to me based on the prompt. I’m not sure how the words “dwell” from Trifecta and “elixir” from Write at the Merge led me in this direction, but it was fun to write.

Thanks for stopping by and reading this story. I appreciate it:~)


Tina February 14, 2013 at 8:12 pm

Wow! Was this fiction? Because that was intense! I was sucked right in to the story. Great job!
Tina´s last blog post ..Dumped


Sara February 18, 2013 at 3:08 pm

@ Tina — It was fiction and I thank you for telling you enjoyed it:~) It was a bit dark, however.


desk49 February 14, 2013 at 8:27 pm

writing from ones heart
words racing across white
black lines wiggle wildly
thoughts twist about
will others understand
do even I

No I’m not writing yet
I ask myself why
still I’ve answered not


Sara February 18, 2013 at 3:10 pm

@ desk49 — Well, it’s nice to see you here and to have a new Ellis poem. Hopefully, you will answer the question in the affirmative at some point.

I miss your writing, but thanks for stopping by:~)


Talon February 14, 2013 at 9:13 pm

Yikes – put’s a whole different spin on Valentine’s Day, Sara! :)

PS: I loved it!!
Talon´s last blog post ..Intrinsic


Sara February 18, 2013 at 3:13 pm

@ Talon — You are right. This is a different “spin” on Valentine’s Day. This story was a “seat of your pants” story. It sort of just developed based the first line. I didn’t where it was going to go, but it fun getting it there.

I am very pleased and honored that you liked it:~)


Draug419 February 14, 2013 at 11:12 pm

ha! I love this (: Getting exactly what he deserves!


Sara February 18, 2013 at 3:15 pm

@ Draug419 — Thanks! Yes, he did get what he deserves. I had a good time writing this story.

Thank you very much for stopping by and reading it:~)


Patricia of Patricias Wisdom February 14, 2013 at 11:22 pm

What a great read and you do have a way with words. Interesting the take on Valentine’s Day as that is often when the troubled try to mask and stalk…eerie.

This gave me goose bumps – oh maybe that was the virus!
Good job here
I got flowers from my youngest’s boyfriend…what a deal!
Patricia of Patricias Wisdom´s last blog post ..LOL Loving Pie, Pie II


Sara February 18, 2013 at 3:17 pm

@ Patricia — I do hope the story didn’t make you feel worse and that you’ve sent that nasty virus off to jail, not to return.

AHHHH…that’s so sweet about the flowers. Someone wants to make a good impression on someone’s mother…I assume he succeeded. He would have with me:~)


Chris Edgar February 15, 2013 at 12:52 am

It’s interesting — what occurred to me as I read this is that he actually is on her mind this Valentine’s Day, and maybe that is intentional irony — even though her mind is on enjoying the suffering she imagines he is going through, rather than reminiscing about the earlier times when she may have enjoyed their relationship.
Chris Edgar´s last blog post ..New Steve’s Quest Screenshots


Sara February 18, 2013 at 3:20 pm

@ Chris — I can see your point, but this woman never enjoyed a good relationship with this man. He’s not exactly capable to being good to women. That said, everyone has their own take on a story. That’s the nice about fiction. You never really know how a reader will respond and what they will take away from the story.

Thank you very much for taking time to read this story. I appreciated it:~)


Kelvin Kao February 15, 2013 at 2:09 am

Empowering to write. Probably not as wise to actually send…
Kelvin Kao´s last blog post ..Happy Valentine’s Day


Sara February 18, 2013 at 3:26 pm

@ Kelvin — I love your comments. This one made me really laugh. It sort of summed it all up. She’s probably safe as long as he stays in jail. If I more words, I would have stuck him in a prison in Venezuela, they’re known for having the toughest and meanest prisons. I’m not nice to men like this, even when they’re just characters in my story:~)

As always, thanks for the read!


KymmInBarcelona February 15, 2013 at 5:52 am

Hoping the creep never gets out of jail…
KymmInBarcelona´s last blog post ..Town Called Irony


Sara February 18, 2013 at 3:28 pm

@ KymminBarcelona — See my comment to Kelvin Kao…just needed a few more words and that guy would have never gotten released and well, we won’t discuss what might have happened to him while in jail.

Hey, congratulations on winning an award at Trifecta. So cool and good writing:~)


Mike February 15, 2013 at 7:42 am

Now that’s what you call a Valentines letter!
I enjoyed this.


Sara February 18, 2013 at 3:29 pm

@ Mike — That’s says it all, doesn’t it. Thanks for reading this story:~)


Linda February 15, 2013 at 11:56 am

This is a very good story, and quite a different take on Valentine’s day. I reckon she really told him. Good for her! Hope you had a Happy Valentine’s Day!
Linda´s last blog post ..Or Else


Sara February 18, 2013 at 3:30 pm

@ Linda — I appreciate your comments about the story and yes, I did have a very nice Valentine’s Day. I got chocolate and a beautiful rose:~) The rose is still around, but the chocolate is loooong gone:~)


AR Neal February 15, 2013 at 12:23 pm

Sarah: This was a great mashup of the two prompts! Great take on both, and a great story overall. I love the idea of how she moved past this monster, how he got caught, and how methodically she describes her happiness. Yeah–stick it to him on behalf of all the abused women in the world :)
AR Neal´s last blog post ..Irresistable Shares: No Ride on the Glimmer Train…Yet


Sara February 18, 2013 at 3:33 pm

@ ARNeal — It’s fun when you use two in one! I’m pleased you liked the story and yes, her words reaffirmed that she is a survivor. It’s also a reminder that sometimes it’s good to get out your anger, but it also wise to wait until it’s safe to do so.

Thank you very much for reading this story. I pleased you liked it:~)


Carrie February 15, 2013 at 12:36 pm

I love how you structured it as a letter to an ex
Carrie´s last blog post ..Road to Tomorrow {Book Review & Giveaway}


Sara February 18, 2013 at 3:35 pm

@ Carrie — I have to confess, I didn’t really think of him as her ex, but it did fit the story. I’m pleased you liked the use of the letter approach to the writing. For me, it was more personal that way.

Thank you for reading this writing:~)


Kathleen Basi February 15, 2013 at 1:50 pm

Yowza! That is beyond awesome. You left me such a nice substantial comment, I wish I could return the favor, but I loved every word of this.
Kathleen Basi´s last blog post ..Lenten Reflections (A 7QT Post)


Sara February 18, 2013 at 3:53 pm

@ Kathleen Basi — That’s okay. I’m content with “awesome.” I’m just pleased you liked the story and I thank you for reading it:~)


Bee February 15, 2013 at 3:58 pm

Looks like he’ll be getting his comeuppance! It sounds like she still defers to him, though, in the way that she apologizes for having met someone, and that she hopes he’ll be scared in jail. Maybe take out the “I’m sorry” and the “I hope so,” to give her an even stronger voice.

One other thing is the second sentence. If he made the card, then he would already know that it has glitter and hearts glued on. I wonder if you can somehow work this into the paragraph in which she describes handing it to the police?

Well done!


Sara February 18, 2013 at 3:37 pm

@ Bee — Thanks for your comment and your constructive feedback. I need to work on writing sarcasm better. Hey, it’s all a learning process and I like getting feedback that shows me how a reader reacted to the story and what could be changed in it. It’s what helps me become a better writer. So, thank you very much:~)


jean sampson February 15, 2013 at 9:45 pm

Creepy! And very, very engaging! I was totally caught off guard! And I thought you were going to write something sweet for Valentine’s Day! Fooled me!
I think you are an amazing writer, Sara! :)


Sara February 18, 2013 at 3:41 pm

@ Jean — Yes, “creepy” definitely was the word used most to describe this story. But, you will appreciate how it was created. It was like an planned painting. The first sentence came to me and then the rest slowly developed in colors and tone. It’s my favorite way to write…even if it is a bit on the dark side:~)

Thank you for reading the story. I always appreciate your comments!


suZen February 16, 2013 at 9:27 am

Wow Sara! Fantastic! It reminds me of a journaling assignment called “The Unsent Letter” where you really dump every intense feeling (it can be good or bad) to someone you need closure with. It can be very healing! I’ve done it countless times.
suZen´s last blog post ..50 Shades of Phude


Sara February 18, 2013 at 3:44 pm

@ SuZen — Yes, I think this story would fit “dumping intense feelings.” I’m not sure the woman in the story will ever get complete closure from this monster of a man, but maybe this letter would get her closer to it.

I agree with you about the “unsent letter.” The most important part to remember is to NOT SEND it if you value the relationship in any form or fashion. This is the one disadvantage of e-mail and texting…it makes it easy to just hit “send.”

Thank you for reading this story!


Carrie February 16, 2013 at 2:32 pm

holey moley Sara, that has creeped me right out! superb writing xxx
Carrie´s last blog post ..Looking longingly at Friday


Sara February 18, 2013 at 3:45 pm

@ Carrie — Thank you very much. It was a bit creepy, but it was also fun to write.

I hope you’ve had some sunshine since I visited last:~)


jody February 16, 2013 at 2:46 pm

I’ll bet every victim wishes to have such an opportunity as this.


Sara February 18, 2013 at 3:52 pm

@ Jody — I agree. Thanks for reading the story. I appreciate it:~)


Katy B. February 17, 2013 at 10:39 am

Poetic justice! Thanks for sharing. (I linked through from a Studio 30+ prompt.)
Katy B.´s last blog post ..Tea for Two


Sara February 18, 2013 at 3:47 pm

@ Katy B. — I had never heard of Studio 30+prompt. I looked it up, but it was a bit confusing. You have join, right? Anyway, I enjoyed your story very much and thanks for reading mine!


Annabelle February 18, 2013 at 11:01 am

“The pretty ones always do.” Deliciously nasty!
Annabelle´s last blog post ..The Twelve Dancers


Sara February 18, 2013 at 3:48 pm

@ Annabelle — Well, it’s true…She was on a roll by that part:~)

Thanks for reading the story and leaving a comment about it. It’s very much appreciated.


Write on Edge February 19, 2013 at 10:39 am

Revenge is best served cold, and serve it she did!


Sara February 26, 2013 at 1:19 pm

@ Write on Edge — So true, so true:~)


Valerie February 19, 2013 at 2:24 pm

“…the jagged cut down my face you made to mark me and the slashes across my wrists I made to escape you…”

Stunning Sara! This is one of your best pieces ever!! So well written!!

(And I love the idea of the special “valentines” her ex will receive in jail, too…)
Valerie´s last blog post ..Picture Postcard Perfect


Sara February 26, 2013 at 1:20 pm

@ valeria — High praise indeed, especially coming from one my favorite writers. Thanks:~)


Alien Ghost February 20, 2013 at 2:30 am

Hi Sara,

I’m always amazed at how you can provoke feelings in a reader using so little words! Just after the second paragraph the mood was set in my mind and the way I “heard” the words while reading them changed to a mix of anger and sadness in the tone.

You are really a gifted writer! I know you have been working really hard in polishing your writing skills, but still it takes more than just hard work to be able to create the atmosphere of the scene using just a couple of sentences. Great Job!!

Alien Ghost´s last blog post ..What If…


Sara February 26, 2013 at 1:29 pm

@ Alien Ghost — What you said was very, very nice and it means a lot to me. I am really trying to learn how to be a better writer. I appreciate your comment so much:~)


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