Trifecta Writing Challenge: His Last Chance

by Sara on February 12, 2014

TrifectaPicture11-1This week the Trifecta Writing Challenge was to write about “love gone wrong” in exactly 33 of our own words.  In addition, they asked us not to use any of the following words:  love, sad, tears, wept, heart, or pain.

I struggled and struggled, but here’s what finally emerged:

 

It wasn’t her perfume on the bed,

Or lacy panties casually shed.

“Babe, give me another chance,” he pled.

Her silver knife plunged down instead.

“Too bad, this was your last,” she said.

 

 

{ 34 comments… read them below or add one }

Renada Styles February 12, 2014 at 7:15 pm

I like how it rhymed making it like a little tune. Well done indeed.
Renada Styles´s last blog post ..Love Trance 02/10/14

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Sara February 13, 2014 at 6:16 pm

@ Renada — Thank you very much. It was fun to write:~)

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KymmInBarcelona February 13, 2014 at 5:33 am

What a fantastic, light ‘ditty’ to go with the subject matter! Too bad, indeed.
KymmInBarcelona´s last blog post ..The Third Date

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Sara February 13, 2014 at 6:17 pm

@ KymmInBarcelona — It’s a bit different. I sort of saw the darker side of this prompt, but had fun writing the ditty. It’s not easy for me to do anything in 33 words!

Thanks for stopping by and reading it.

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Carolyn February 13, 2014 at 9:22 am

Really well done – love it.

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Sara February 13, 2014 at 6:18 pm

@ Carolyn — Well, it was a challenge. What can I say? I appreciate you stopping by to read this:~)

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JC February 13, 2014 at 11:08 am

Sara, I know I will stay faithful to you!

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Sara February 13, 2014 at 6:19 pm

@ JC — Yep, you’d better:~)

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Linda February 13, 2014 at 12:16 pm

May I just say…Wow! First off the challenge restricted some key words, and you ran with it. Second, you really are getting over the ‘happy ending’ thing, aren’t you. Well done! Lastly, I love JC’s comment, but then he knows he’s got it good.
Linda´s last blog post ..Disconnected

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Sara February 13, 2014 at 6:20 pm

@ Linda — I tried lots of approaches to this challenge, but EXACTLY 33 words is really hard for me, as you know!

Don’t worry, I’ll come back to the happy ending stories very shortly:~)

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Valerie February 13, 2014 at 3:54 pm

I loved this Sara!! Crisp, and to the point. Like they say, hell hath no fury…..

By the way-you rock! Just because:) xoxoxo
Valerie´s last blog post ..Choice Words

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Sara February 13, 2014 at 6:21 pm

@ Valerie — Well, it’s a bit dark, but I had fun writing it. Thank you about the “you rock” and the “just because.” I needed it today. You put a smile on my face:~)

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Jean Sampson February 13, 2014 at 5:16 pm

Sara, what Linda said! You are GOOD! And JC seems to really be able to read between the lines, doesn’t he?
Good job!

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Sara February 13, 2014 at 6:23 pm

@ Jean — In this case, I don’t think JC needed to read between the lines. Truthfully, this is what the “muse” decided to write. I was really stuck, but I learned I CAN write something in exactly 33 words:~)

Thanks for stopping by and reading this!

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Erin Nicole February 13, 2014 at 5:28 pm

Great job! I don’t think I could even do that well!
Erin Nicole´s last blog post ..Updates!

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Sara February 13, 2014 at 6:24 pm

@ Erin — First of all, I love your avatar.

Thank you for reading this poem. I appreciate it:~)

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Patty February 13, 2014 at 7:19 pm

Oh I love it when you visit the dark side in your writing Sara. This is like a perfect little bite of a confection…left me wanting more!
Patty´s last blog post ..make a deeper feelings mandala

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Sara February 14, 2014 at 1:10 pm

@ Patty — Thanks…I’m not sure how well my dark side goes over. I tend forget not everyone enjoys this type of humor. Fortunately, my husband is just like me. We laugh a lot.

I really loved your mandala post and I meant what I said about finding your posts so calming. They make take a nice deep breath:~) It’s refreshing. I’m so pleased your writing again.

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Charlotte February 13, 2014 at 8:19 pm

Wonderful! So clever and fun, and as Patty said, dark!
Charlotte´s last blog post ..In Training for Writing: A Dozen Ideas

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Sara February 14, 2014 at 1:13 pm

@ Charlotte — Yes, my downfall sometimes is I forget not everyone enjoys humor from the dark side. On the other hand, I had fun writing this poem. It was very much a challenge, especially since at first I didn’t realize the challenge said “exactly 33 words.” I to go back to the drawing board to add words and keep the rhyme correct. LOL the things we do for writing:~)

Thanks for stopping by and reading this.

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jannatwrites February 14, 2014 at 1:28 am

I wouldn’t be handing out chances either (especially not in exchange for a flimsy apology :) )
jannatwrites´s last blog post ..Treading Water

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Sara February 14, 2014 at 1:15 pm

@ jannawrites — Yes, he lost me with the use of “Babe.” It’s not my favorite term of endearment.

Thanks for the read. I really appreciate it:~)

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Draug419 February 14, 2014 at 12:05 pm

Love doesn’t seem to be good for the health haha

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Sara February 14, 2014 at 1:15 pm

@ Draug419 — Definitely not in this case:~)

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Björn Rudberg (brudberg) February 14, 2014 at 3:23 pm

Oh the nursery rhyme combined with the silver dagger make this like something of Blake.. love it.
Björn Rudberg (brudberg)´s last blog post ..Carpe Diem Haiku – Tatsueji

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Sara February 20, 2014 at 10:28 pm

@ Björn — Thanks. I had fun writing it. It was definitely a challenge to get exactly 33 words in a nursery rhyme form:~)

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Michelle Stanley February 15, 2014 at 12:18 am

I wonder how many chances he got before she took revenge. Nice writing.

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Sara February 20, 2014 at 10:29 pm

@ Michelle — Let’s hope it was many. Although, I not sure that makes it any better, but it definitely was “love gone wrong.”

Thanks for the visit.

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Kelvin Kao February 15, 2014 at 9:22 pm

It’s kind of like playing the game “Taboo”, isn’t it? By avoiding those words and having limited number of words, it certainly gives you a chance to think differently.

I like how you wrote around the words and put this piece together!
Kelvin Kao´s last blog post ..Merry Christmas! Deck the Halls!

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Sara February 20, 2014 at 10:31 pm

@ Kelvin — I did that, didn’t I? You are very nice about this poem. It was fun to write, even if it was a bit dark.

Thank you for always taking time to read my little writings. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it!

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Momo February 16, 2014 at 5:03 pm

The rhyming was a great element to this piece. Well done!
Momo´s last blog post ..Trifextra – Week #102 – Clamoring

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Sara February 20, 2014 at 10:35 pm

@ Momo — I had fun writing it. I do appreciate you reading it. I was different, but quite the challenge for me. I have hard getting anything written in 33 words.

Thanks for the visit!

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patricia February 17, 2014 at 2:56 pm

I have to work so hard to get my book reviews down to 500 words – how would I ever do 33?
This is marvelous, what a great job and it is similar to the book I reviewed called THE FIXER ( 1st in a series)
Tight and accomplished the goal, Way to go!
patricia´s last blog post ..BECALMED: Romance Fiction ~Normandie Fischer

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Sara February 20, 2014 at 10:37 pm

@ Patricia — Do they all have to be 500 words? That’s hard when reviewing a book.

Thanks for stopping by and reading this poem. I hadn’t thought about the comparison to THE FIXER:~)

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